


Happy Mistakes

by mollieblack



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, Angst, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Complete, Cute, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Denial of Feelings, Drinking, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Guilt, Happy Ending, M/M, Personal Favorite, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, Pining, Reality, Romance, Sick Character, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Teasing, YouTube, danisnotonfire - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-06 19:05:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11042394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollieblack/pseuds/mollieblack
Summary: Dan's mother is terminally ill and all she wants is for her son to finally find someone to settle down with, so when there's a misunderstanding and she thinks he and Phil are dating, Phil panics and goes along with it, if only to keep her happy in her last days.Neither of them planned on her getting betterNOW AVAILABLE IN RUSSIAN!! :D   https://ficbook.net/readfic/5605793





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *Dan's family is in this fic, but I'm changing all names, and none are meant to represent his actual family members in real life. These are characters*

Dan knew the call was coming. His mum had been sick for a long time. He knew that sooner or later she would be moved to hospital, and once that happened she only had a few days left. He knew he had to put a stop to everything in his life to go be with her for the last few days, and he began packing numbly.

"Dan... is everything alright?" Phil stood in the doorway, concerned, and Dan sighed. 

"She's at hospital. I have to go." Phil immediately understood what this meant, crossing the room in seconds to pull Dan into a hug.

"Are you going to be okay?" Phil asked, pulling back and looking at Dan with worry in his eyes.

"Yeah... no... I don't know. There's nothing I can do... just have to go be with her." Phil squinted his eyes, concern growing. Dan felt nothing.

"Do you want me to come with?" Phil asked.

"No... it's fine. You're busy and I don't want to mess up your schedule..."

"I'm coming with." Phil decided. "You need someone with you, and my schedule is the least of your concern. I'm here for you through this, okay Dan?" Dan smiled a bit, nodding. He was grateful to have his friend with him... maybe it'd make the next few days easier.

The train took them to the hospital an hour away, and Dan was appreciative that after a few failed attempts at jokes and light conversation to try to cheer him up, Phil accepted that what Dan needed now was silence, and simply comforted his friend through his presence. Dan was so grateful to Phil.

They walked through the brightly lit hallways to a desk, and through the swinging doors when they were told the room number. When they reached the door, Dan drew in a shaky breath. He felt fingers lace through his, and looked over to see Phil looking at him, squeezing his hand in comfort. 

He had someone to lean on. He could get through this. They walked through the door into the room, and Dan felt all the air leave him as he saw the frail woman on the bed. Her hair was much grayer and thinner than it had been the last time he'd seen her, and she must have lost at least seventy pounds. Dan walked up to her, Phil's hand still in his, and took her hand in his free one.

"Mum..." he whispered, and she looked up at him. He had gotten lucky, he hadn't expected her to be awake.

"...Dan? Phil?" she asked, tilting her head up in confusion.

"Yes, yes mum it's us. We're here with you."

"Oh... thank you..." she whispered, leaning back against her bed and allowing her eyes to shut partway.

"Mum is there anything you need?" Dan asked, and watched as she shook her head. She looked so sad. Dan had to turn away, and he buried his face in Phil's shoulder. He knew the last thing his mum needed was for him to cry, so he tried to keep the tears quiet. Phil hugged him back, stroking Dan's hair.

After a few minutes, Dan had collected himself and turned back around to see that his mum was asleep. He and Phil took their seats in the room and waited, not wanting to wake her, but wanting to be there when she did awake. Hours passed, and Phil fell asleep with his head on Dan's shoulder. It wasn't normal for them, and he knew that any other day he would push Phil off, nervous that if he let him get too close Dan's pesky old crush would rear its ugly head once again, but today the touch was comforting, and Dan didn't mind. 

Dan didn't know how much time passed before his mum stirred again. She turned her head towards Dan, and looked at him and Phil, a small smile tracing over her lips. Dan wanted to stand to move closer to the bed, so he turned briefly to Phil to wake him so he could move. 

When he shook Phil's shoulder gently, Phil's eyes shot open, immediately finding Dan's, full of concern. Phil raised his hand to cup Dan's cheek, and looked at him seriously.

"Is everything okay? I'm here for you. Are you alright, what happened?" Dan chuckled a bit at his friend's concern. It was touching, really, but he cared more right now about talking to his mum.

"Phil everything's fine. She's awake and I wanted to stand up." Phil nodded, blushing a bit at his outburst. He stood with Dan, taking his hand back within Phil's grasp. 

Dan looked up at his mum and saw her smiling, which made him smile. He wasn't sure that was something he was ever going to get to see again.

"I'm so happy for you two." she murmured. 

"What?" Dan asked, confused as to what she was referring to.

"At least I can go peacefully, knowing my son finally found someone to settle down with." She spoke, looking at Phil. "Someone who loves him almost as much as I do." Dan laughed a bit nervously. She must have been a bit loopy from all the drugs they were probably giving her. 

He began to correct her, "No mum it's not-"

"We're really happy." Phil interrupted him. "I'll take care of him." Dan squeezed Phil's hand to get him to look over, and Phil looked back at him with a 'I'm sorry I don't know what I just did' face. Dan sighed, and turned back to his mum who had fallen back asleep, a small smile on her face.

Dan led Phil out of the room and let go of his hand. They made their way to the cafeteria, they both were starved, and once they were sat with their jello and fish sticks, Dan turned to Phil.

"Why did you say that?" he asked, spooning the bright red jiggly sweet into his mouth.

"I don't know... she just seemed so happy. I panicked and I couldn't bear to tell her that the thing that made her so happy wasn't real. Sorry if..." And Phil trailed off, seemingly unsure of exactly what he should be apologizing for.

Dan gave Phil a small smile. Not a happy smile causing his dimples to appear and his eyes to crinkle. A thin line that formed across his face as he pressed his lips together. Could it even be called a smile? Dan didn't know. It was an acknowledgement, an an expression that told Phil that he was grateful and he understood. 

"It's okay. Thanks. We can just keep it up for the next few days around her, and everything will be alright, and she'll pass happy that I got what she's wanted for me." They nodded and didn't speak of it again, though they made sure they were holding hands and stood a bit closer together the next few times they visited her. 

 

What they hadn't planned on was her getting better. 

 

The doctors had given Dan's mum two or three days, four if she was lucky. Today was day eight, and Dan watched as his mum sat upright in her hospital bed, laughing at a joke, looking more lively than she had in months. The doctors said her tumors were going down. She had put back on at least twenty pounds, and was beginning to look much healthier. Of course Dan was happy about this, but it did create a complication.

On the second day, Dan's father and brother had been there, and Dan had cringed as his mum had weakly whispered again how happy she was for the two of them. Phil had looked to Dan, and Dan had sighed, thanking her and then explaining to his family that he and Phil were together now. They didn't seem shocked, and honestly Dan didn't expect them to be. People were more often shocked when they found out Dan and Phil  _weren't_ dating. Dan's brother, James, had whispered a quiet "Finally", and Dan had shrugged, lacing his fingers through Phil's. 

Dan knew that his family couldn't keep secrets for shit, so he and Phil agreed that it'd be best to go along with this all until his mum passed and then explain the situation. As two days grew into four, Dan and Phil couldn't stay at the hospital anymore, and they traveled back to Dan's family home with his dad and brother each night. Dan had planned on setting Phil up on the sofa or taking it himself, but when he remembered that they were supposed to be together he sighed, realizing they'd have to share Dan's small childhood bed. 

They slept on their backs on opposite sides of the bed, but they were still close enough that Dan could feel Phil's warmth next to him. He really hoped that pesky little crush didn't pop back into his life. He fell asleep, and when he woke up still separated from Phil, he let out a sigh of relief. 

Now they'd been at this for over a week. Dan had Phil's fingers laced through his own more often than not, and hugs were being given more and more freely in times of worry or sadness, especially while they were in front of Dan's family. Today the doctors came in, and gave the family the good news that she was in recovery and should be released from the hospital in just over a week. 

Dan was happy. 

Three more days passed.

"Dan? Dan... we may have a slight problem." Phil said, walking into Dan's room that night, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth with froth coating his lips, phone in hand. 

"What is it?" 

"Well... I just got a voicemail from my mum."

"And?" 

"Your mum called her. She told her we were together. My mum is asking me why we haven't told her, and wants to have you over for dinner." Dan groaned, leaning against the headboard.

"We have to call this all off. Stage a breakup, something. Before they wonder why we only ever hold hands." Dan didn't think he could keep his feelings shut inside the extremely tight box he had created inside of him years ago if they moved any farther than hand holding. 

"That's what I thought at first... but Dan..." Phil clicked the speaker button and played the message, and Dan felt his heart drop.

"Phillip, despite the fact that you should have told me long ago, I'm happy for you two, and I'm glad you told her. It might be the reason she's doing so well now. She told me that she had given up, but the moment you told her, she knew she had to stay alive, because, in her words, goddammit if I'm not going to be around to see my son get married'."

As he heard Phil's mum recount his own mother's words, he knew they couldn't just drop this. But now what? They keep up the act for Phil's family too? He looked at Phil, who turned off the phone and sat down on the bed next to him.

"I mean... Dan we do everything together. Honestly we're basically already a married couple besides all the... touchy stuff. It wouldn't be that hard, and we don't see our families  _too_ often. I don't see myself settling down with anyone anytime soon, our lifestyle doesn't really allow for it, and honestly it's nice hearing my mum so happy. We could keep it up for a while at least." Dan nodded slowly.

It _was_ nice seeing their families happy for them, and Phil was right. Neither of them had dated anyone since they moved in together years ago. Not only were they incredibly busy and had the complication of the entire online community wanting them to date each other which would ward off potential romances by itself, Dan and Phil never wanted to do anything apart. Where one went, the other went. They were a package deal, and that didn't really work with a relationship.

"Okay." he agreed. "We have a lot to work out, though. If we make one mistake, tell one story differently, people will know. We have to get our stories straight, and set some... you know... boundaries." Phil nodded, and they spent the next three entire hours going through every possible question someone could have about their relationship, making sure every detail was set. After that, Phil looked up.

"So... about the..." Phil trailed off a bit awkwardly, blushing a light shade of pink.

"The touchy stuff?" Dan joked, teasing at Phil's term from earlier. Phil was cute when he got embarrassed, and Dan thought it was funny that he was so uncomfortable talking about this. 

"Yeah... that. Anyways... if we're keeping this up for a while, we're probably going to end up in situations where... I don't know..." Phil was getting flustered, and while Dan thought it was sweet, he did want to help his friend, because this _was_ an awkward subject. He took a deep breath, knowing he was about to agree to something he'd probably regret later, but if they were doing this they had to do it well. They couldn't get caught with this kind of a lie, and Dan would just have to deal with whatever consequences came. He'd shoved his feelings down before, he could do it again.

"Touching is okay except... private areas, of course. Pecks on the cheek are okay, and flirting is fine." Dan wasn't worried about the flirting, he loved teasing Phil and watching him blush when Dan jokingly called him pet names to set him off. That they could do. "I guess... light kisses are okay if the situation calls for it, but just pecks." Phil nodded, his cheeks no longer just looking slightly flushed, now more the color of a raspberry.

"Yeah okay that sounds good." Phil climbed into the bed next to Dan, pulling the duvet over them both. They laid the way they'd gotten used to since being here, back to back so they faced away from each other, on the very edges of the bed. Several minutes passed before Dan heard Phil let out a long sigh and whisper, "Dan? Are you still awake?"

"Yeah." 

"This isn't gonna work if we're so careful around each other. It'll be obvious that we're not comfortable when we're with our families. I think... I don't know, sorry this is all really weird and if you want to back out just tell me... but if we do this I think we need to let down our guards a little and just... get used to each other so it's not so new when we're in front of people." Dan nodded, listening to the boy behind him. It terrified him, but he knew Phil was right. 

"Okay." Was all he said, and then he heard Phil moving behind him. He felt Phil's arm snake around his waist and pull Dan back a bit so his back was flush against Phil's torso. 

"You sure?" Phil asked hesitantly, and Dan simply nodded, moving one leg back a bit so it made its way between Phil's. Phil laid his head down on the pillow, his forehead pressing into Dan's hair, and Dan took a shaky breath. This wasn't going to be easy.

"Okay... goodnight." Dan said a bit flatly, because he didn't really trust his voice right now.

"Night." And even though they had said goodnight and the lights were out, Dan didn't actually fall asleep for several hours, much too aware of the heartbeat that wasn't his own pounding through his back, of the breath softly tickling his neck through his hair, of the hand that draped across his waist and stomach. It wasn't until he was fairly sure the sun was on its way back up when he finally managed to drift into sleep. 


	2. Chapter Two

When Dan awoke to Phil's arms wrapped around him, bodies pressed together in an uncomfortably hot and sticky collision, he panicked. His eyes went wide and he froze, terrified of what they had done, of what he had gotten himself into. This was  _Phil_. Phil who he had nearly fallen for all those years ago over Skype in 2009. Who he had shoved his feelings for into a box after he admitted to himself that he loved Phil in 2012, but right before getting the courage to tell him, saw Phil texting someone with a smile that Dan knew wasn't platonic. It had never developed into anything that Dan knew about, but he had known Phil was talking to someone, and he had shoved every little feeling away.

Unfortunately to be able to do that, he had to pull away, and their friendship had suffered. They made it through and things were good again, but every now and then when Dan would be surprised by a not-so-platonic feeling or thought towards his flatmate and best friend, he'd take a day or two to just sit in his room alone and repair that little box, patching any holes to keep his feelings in check. 

Dan was always hyper-aware of himself and Phil, extremely careful not to get  _too_ close, because that's when it would all fall apart. They were fairly close, closer than most friends, and usually it was okay. Their arms would brush when they sat next to each other, their knees would touch, they'd look at each other for a moment too long. This wasn't what did it for Dan, he was too used to all of this. It was the fact that Phil was a wonderfully and horribly cuddly person that made things difficult for him. Generally it wouldn't come out, but anytime Phil got tired or a drop of alcohol touched his lips, he would be all over Dan. 

Phil seemed to have learned over the years that Dan would push him away, so he'd gotten better at keeping space between them, but it still fell apart sometimes. The past year had been good though, and despite one night Phil had drank in Australia and tried to cuddle with Dan, they'd kept their normal inch or so of air between them. Dan's box had stayed intact this year, and he wanted to keep it that way.

 

This was not helping.

 

Dan didn't move, in fear that if he did, Phil would pull him even closer. He simply froze and spent near an hour trying to think of every possible way that he and Phil could get out of this, but every time he came back to that voicemail, and his mother saying she fought through because of them. He had to stick with this for her... for a while at least. 

After thirty minutes, Dan realized it didn't even matter if he moved or not, as Phil hummed in his sleep and pulled Dan closer to him, squeezing his arm around Dan's waist and pressing their bodies together. This was too much for the younger boy, and he reached down to remove Phil's arm, sitting up quickly and scooting a few inches away. Phil's body constricted around the sudden cold and emptiness, and Dan watched as his stormy blue eyes blinked open. 

Phil's mouth was slightly parted and his eyes were crusty. His cheeks were very slightly flushed, and his skin was so soft. When he looked up at Dan with those wide blue eyes, pupils dilated to the max in his waking, Dan felt himself forcibly tearing his gaze away from the blue orbs, only to get stuck on Phil's soft pink lips. He felt a creak inside him, and knew the box was straining. He stood up and walked to the bathroom, Phil watching him leave. 

Dan brushed his teeth and washed his face, looking himself in the mirror and telling himself to keep it together. It was all acting. He just had to keep that in mind, and everything would be fine. Phil didn't actually want to be doing all this with him, it was just so it would look more natural in front of their parents. That was all. Everything was fine.

When Dan returned to the bedroom, Phil was sleepily rubbing his eyes, having gotten his laptop. He was on Twitter, scrolling through comments, and Dan smiled. Phil was always better at keeping their fans up to date when they disappeared for a bit, and he was thankful to his friend. Dan took a deep breath, and remembered what the task ahead was. He just had to separate himself and everything would be fine. Soon he'd get used to the contact and increased flirting, he just had to make it through the start... right?

"Morning, sleepyhead." Dan poked Phil's side, slipping into bed next to him.

"You left me this morning. I was all warm and cozy." Phil whined, shifting his eyes to Dan to give him a pout. Dan shoved his shoulder and they both laughed lightly, Phil returning to his computer.

"What are people saying?" Dan asked, reading over Phil's shoulder.

"Oh, the usual. I told them we'd be back from our leave soon, and thanked them for their patience. Most are understanding. Most are also being understanding because they're convinced we were gone on our _honeymoon_ , but honestly I'd expect no less from them." Phil shook his head as he smiled at his computer. 

"Of course that's what they think. Hey Phil, you think we should wear rings in our next video just to mess with them?" Dan asked, prodding Phil with his elbow and laughing.

"Oh yeah, that's a wonderful idea! And not cruel at all, Dan! No, I think we've got our hands full with our families with the whole pretend relationship thing, don't you think?" 

"Ugh, don't remind me." Dan said, burying his face in Phil's shoulder. This action didn't match with his words, as this was something he'd never have done aside from the fact that they were now... trying to get used to each other? Closer? Dan didn't know exactly what they were doing, except that he knew _this_ was now something he could do. 

Phil leaned his head to the side so it rested against Dan's, comfortingly.

"We still can decide not to do it. This is kind of our last chance at an out, since we haven't actually talked to my family yet. It's about to get a whole lot more complicated, you sure you still want to do this?" Dan sighed and then took in a deep breath, inhaling Phil's scent from the crook of his shoulder. 

"Yeah... yeah I think we need to. Do you?" Dan asked, pulling away to look at Phil.

"Yeah, I think your mum needs this, and honestly I haven't heard my mum this happy for me in a long time. I've felt like a bit of a disappointment to her lately, and it's nice to hear her so proud. Even if it means having to put up with you." Phil joked, and Dan gave an over the top hurt pout in return, putting a hand up to his chest as if to say, 'who,  _me_?'. Phil giggled, and pulled Dan into his chest. "You know you're the only one I could ever put up with enough to do this, don't worry." and now the joking was gone from Phil's voice, and Dan took the moment to relax in Phil's arm, hearing Phil's heartbeat through his chest. 

"Alright, well I think it's time we head back to London. We really need to get back on track with videos, and my mom will be out of hospital soon. Anyways, that'll mean we don't have to worry about all of...  _this_... for a while." Dan said, pulling away.

"Alright, sure. We can catch a train back today." They went to the hospital and said goodbye to Dan's mum, Dan giving her a hug and promising they'd visit soon. He froze for a moment when she congratulated them again, and he felt Phil's lips graze his cheek, but relaxed almost immediately when he saw tears well up in his mum's eyes, happy for them. They had a sweet goodbye, and soon Dan and Phil were back in London. 

"So... I've really got to give my mum a call back. It's been a day, I never ignore her for this long. What do I say?" Phil asked as they settled down over a pizza they'd ordered once they'd returned to their flat. 

"I don't know... apologize for not telling her sooner, and just explain that we don't want it getting out to the public so we were going to take our time telling people? You can blame it on me if you want." Phil nodded and punched in his mum's number, calling her as he sat next to Dan.

"Hi mum it's me... yeah... yes. I know, I'm sorry I didn't call you back sooner. I know... I know I'm sorry for not telling you, we just know what would happen if this ever got out, so we wanted to take things slow with telling people. Thank you. Yes, yes I'm very happy. MOM! No, you can't say that about him, that's gross! I know... I know... Yeah of course I'm coming for your birthday. Oh... um..." 

Phil covered the phone with his hand for a moment, turning to Dan, and whispering, "mum wants you to come with for her birthday." Dan's eyes went wide and he shook his head. He knew he'd have to see Phil's family eventually, but his mum's birthday was in two weeks, and Dan wasn't ready. "Dan, it's what a boyfriend would do. People will wonder if you don't come." Phil hissed, holding the phone even further away so his mum wouldn't hear. Dan sighed loudly, and mouthed an 'Ugh, fiiiiine' to Phil, who put the phone back to his ear.

"Yes, Dan will come. Yes, I do. I don't know mum, we haven't been together too long. Well yeah, I know, but we were just friends. We were, I swear! I know, I know we were stupid. Well, we're not waisting time anymore. Yes, I'll tell you everything in person. Okay, mum... I've got to go, I love you! Bye." Dan looked at Phil, eyebrows raised as Phil tossed the phone on the couch next to him.

"Oh my god is she excited to see you." Phil breathed out, taking a slice of pizza.

"What did she say about me?" Dan asked, a smirk crossing his face.

"What?"

"That you said was gross." Dan clarified, and Phil blushed.

"She just said you were very attractive. It was just... the tone she said it with." Phil shuddered, and Dan laughed. 

"Alright, so we're going to your family's in two weeks. How long for?" Dan asked, bracing himself for the trip.

"I was going to visit for four days... but if you want to cut it short that's okay." 

"No... four days is fine. If it gets too weird maybe we'll leave a day early, but I'm okay with four." Phil nodded as he chewed.

"So Daniel Howell... boyfriend... does that mean I get to tickle you?" Phil asked, reaching out teasingly for Dan's neck.

"I don't care if we're acting like we're fucking married, I'll hack your arm off!" Dan threatened, laughing. They both giggled a bit, and then fell back into their normal silence as they turned on a TV show, just enjoying each other's company.

The next two weeks passed fairly normally. They got a few videos out which their fans were ecstatic about, and did their best to completely avoid all the honeymoon questions in the liveshow that Dan streamed. Off camera, they were a little more touchy and flirty than usual, but Dan found himself able to handle it, so long as he kept reminding himself that it was all just for show. He was an actor, he could keep things separate. 

On the last day before they left, as they were packing, Phil came into Dan's room. Dan looked up and furrowed his brows in a question as he saw his friend hanging in the doorway, obviously nervous about something, though Dan didn't know what. 

"Yes?" Dan asked, wondering what was wrong with his friend.

"I... my family's different than yours, Dan. Yours are quieter and keep to themselves more. My family is very... open." Dan nodded, knowing what Phil meant. He'd spent enough time with the Lesters to know that they were a very close and happy family, and that boundaries didn't seem to exist between them. Dan had been accepted in immediately, receiving huge hugs from all of them as he met them for the first time, along with a punch in the shoulder from Phil's brother Martyn. Dan knew Martyn was going to be their biggest challenge this week. Phil seemed to be thinking the same thing as he continued.

"You've seen how... open... Martyn and Cornelia are with each other," Phil started, and yes, Dan had seen that. They didn't seem to grasp the concept of PDA in the slightest. "and Martyn never believes a thing I say. I mean, he's thought we were together for ages since we said we weren't, but he's gonna be the first to push us to be more coupley, and the first to doubt us if we aren't." Dan nodded, knowing Phil was right.

"Okay... so we'll be careful around Martyn and make sure to flirt more in front of him." Dan said, unsure of why Phil was so nervous about all of this.

"Well... okay you know the boundaries we set up. I know you said... kissing... is something that might happen. I think if it's ever going to happen it's going to be because of Martyn, and... he's gonna see through it if we're awkward. If it's the first time. We're already pretty awkward with this whole thing, and he's gonna have an eagle eye trained on us." Phil spilled out, and Dan raised an eyebrow.

"So... what are you suggesting? That we - I mean - you and I... practice?" Dan's voice squeaked a bit at the end of the question, almost laughing at how ridiculous it sounded.

"I mean... yeah. Just if you want, and just a small one. I just... if that's part of this all, I don't want the first time to be in front of Martyn." Dan nodded slowly.

"Okay... so what do we do? Do you want me to like... go brush my teeth first?" Dan asked stupidly, and they both giggled. This was incredibly awkward for the both of them, and neither was trying to hide that.

"No... I think you're alright, Dan." Phil said, nervously taking a few steps into the room.

"Should we... now?" Dan asked again, having a hard time thinking of complete sentences. 

"I think if we don't now, I'm never gonna get the courage to try this again." Phil said honestly, and Dan nodded, understanding. 

"Okay..." Dan said quietly, meeting Phil in the middle of the room. "Umm...." they both laughed a bit awkwardly, and Dan brought his hand to the back of his neck. 

"So...." they both said in unison, and broke into more laughter.

"Okay, I'm just gonna do it." Said Phil, looking at Dan to make sure it was okay. Dan gave a small nod, and all of a sudden all the giggles were gone and it was serious, quiet as Phil gently placed one hand on Dan's shoulder and the other on Dan's cheek. Instinctively, Dan reached out, placing his hands around Phil's waist, causing them to move closer together. Phil looked up at Dan one last time for assurance that this was okay, and when he got it, he leaned in.

Phil's lips were soft. Warm and soft, and Dan leaned forward into the kiss just the slightest bit as their lips made contact, pressing them together lightly. He felt his breath hitch, and he knew Phil must be able to hear his heart, as it was pounding out of his chest and through his ears. The kiss only lasted a moment, but when Phil pulled back just the slightest, keeping them close, but their lips parted, Dan was breathless.

"Was that...okay?" Phil asked, looking into Dan's eyes, and Dan looked up into those stormy blue eyes, only inches from his own, and it was _not_  okay, but also it was. In fact, a tiny piece of him wanted to close the tiny gap between them and kiss Phil again... for practice.

"Yeah." Dan breathed out, averting his gaze from Phil's face. They broke apart, creating a few feet of space between them before they both began awkwardly laughing again. 

"So... do you think it'll be more normal now? Easier to do?" Phil asked, and no, it wouldn't. Dan was even more nervous to kiss Phil now than he was before, because now he knew what it felt like and he wanted to do it again, and that want... it terrified him. This had in no way made Dan 'used to it'. In no way was this 'normal' now, but he didn't know how to say that.

"Um... yeah maybe. I don't know." Dan stuttered out, and Phil chuckled understandingly. 

"Well maybe we can just... make that a bit more normal for a little while. Just today and tomorrow on the way there... maybe if it's not so new it'll get easier."

"Maybe." Dan agreed, but he was barely listening to Phil because his mind was spinning as he heard that he might get to do that again. "So... kissing is okay now? Just... normally?" Dan asked, laughing nervously as he wondered at how they had gotten to this point.

"Yeah, I guess. Just short ones like that, we're not making out, Howell." Phil teased, and Dan smiled.

Teasing. That could help him. He loved teasing Phil, and his feelings didn't seem to get too worked up when he flirted with Phil to mess with him. That was how he would view this whole thing. If he was just doing all this to make Phil uncomfortable instead of worrying about his own discomfort, he would be fine. Getting to see Phil blush would only be an added bonus. Dan took a deep breath at this revelation, and straightened up, new confidence running through him.

"Like you _don't_ want to make out with me." Dan needled, slowly walking towards Phil to close the gap between them. 

"I don't!" Phil said indignantly.

"Sure you don't." Dan took on a high voice to mock Phil's earlier words, " _Come on, Dan! It's just for practice, Dan! It's for Martyn! I promise it's not just that I've daydreamed about you for years, Dan! You're just so beautiful, I just want to kiss you!"_ Dan laughed, joking, and Phil blushed.

"Shut up." Phil mumbled, and then Dan watched as a look crossed Phil's face that Dan had learned to be wary of. Sometimes, when Phil was feeling _just_ brave enough and Dan had pushed _just_ far enough with his teasing, Phil would work up his courage to try to beat Dan, and generally he'd go above and beyond to do something that would shock the younger boy. Whenever he did act on these, Dan was usually the one to concede, and Phil would grin at his victory. 

Now Phil was looking at Dan with this expression, and then Dan watched as Phil's eyes flicked down to his lips. Dan raised his eyebrows just before Phil pounced, darting in and taking Dan's face in his hands, kissing him hard but quick, and then pulling away. Dan's eyes went wide, but he wasn't going to lose this time. 

"Oh, so we're playing dirty, are we now, Philly?" Dan threw in the nickname he knew Phil hated, and lifted his fingers up, twiddling them in Phil's direction, and Phil notably flinched back, eyes widening at the threat of tickles. "Not so brave now, are we?" Dan taunted, moving slowly towards Phil who turned on his heels and raced out of the room, Dan following behind, fingers still moving threateningly. 

"No! No, no no no no!" Phil protested as Dan caught up to him in the lounge, tackling Phil onto the couch and sitting up as he tickled Phil on his side until the older boy finally conceded. 

"Alright! Fine, you....... you win!" Phil gasped out between tickles, and Dan shoved him off from laying across Dan's lap, laughing. 

"Don't mess with me, Lester!" Dan said victoriously, and Phil pouted at him. 

"Hey, at least I was the one with the guts to ask." Phil reminded Dan, and Dan did have to give him that. He could never have gone to Phil to ask him to practice kissing, though that was for a different reason. Phil wasn't terrified that he'd fall for Dan, he had it easy. But still, it was a weird thing to have to ask you friend, and Dan admitted that Phil had been brave in taking that leap.

"Fine, fine. It's a tie." Dan sighed, and Phil smiled, raising his hands up in little fists, whispering a hissed 'Yess!' with his eyes squeezed shut.

"You're such a spork." Dan shook his head at his friend, and Phil opened his eyes. 

"But I'm  _your_ spork,  _boyfriend_!" Phil stressed the word 'boyfriend', and Dan laughed. These were going to be a long few days at the Lesters, but this was okay. As long as Dan just viewed it as a game, something he could win or lose at, he'd be fine. He loved competing with Phil, and he wasn't worried about space now. He thought about Martyn and Phil's family, and trying to make this convincing, and an idea occurred to him.

"Phil... I think I know a way to make this less awkward... maybe." Dan started, and Phil looked up, eyebrows raised, waiting for an explanation. 

"Well... it's weird to be all... touchy... when it's serious. But we're used to this..." Dan gestured generally at the two of them. "It's not weird when it's a game, so why don't we just make this a game?" Phil's eyebrows furrowed, clearly not understanding. 

"It's a game." Dan repeated. "We compete to see who can be the better 'boyfriend', and we keep tally of the things we do, and whoever loses at the end of the week has to do all the washing up in the house for a month!" Phil nodded, considering.

"We're not going to be able to keep track of everything, Dan. And how do you rank things? Like is kissing above flirting, and what even counts as flirting?" Dan nodded, realizing this was a flaw. 

"Okay, so we don't tally things, but we just generally compete. Hopefully it'll be clear enough, and we can make it a challenge. If you make the other uncomfortable and have to back out somehow, you won. But you have to stay within the boundaries we set. At the end, if neither of us has chickened out, I guess we'll just have to come to an agreement somehow on who was the better boyfriend. " Dan thought out loud. 

Okay... that seems like it could work. We need a safe word though if one of us gets too uncomfortable but we're around family so we can't back out." Phil said, and Dan agreed.

"Okay... how about 'whisk'?" Dan giggled a bit at the idea. Phil raised his eyebrows as if to say 'really?' "No, seriously! It puts a stopper to every conversation already, and I already call people the names of random kitchen utensils all the time! If you get uncomfortable, just call me a whisk and trust me I'll be staying away from you!" 

"I still can't believe you made that video... but fine, whisk works." Phil shook his head, laughing at the vulgar video Dan had watched with Tyler for a YouTube collab. 

"Hey you're the one who chooses to live with me, I think that says more about you!" Dan prodded Phil, and Phil rolled his eyes. 

"Spoon." Phil laughed, and Dan smiled. This could work. This had all been terrifying at the start, but Dan loved challenges and he loved competition, and it wasn't scary anymore. This would be even more convincing, and he could refrain from harming that fragile box inside of him. This could work.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is shorter than my usual chapters, I'm starting to think this piece might lend itself to more short chapters. What do you think? Comment below if you prefer many short chapters or a few long ones :) Thank you <3

The next two weeks passed in a weird flirtatious blur. Dan and Phil stepped back from the kisses for the most part, only really keeping up the flirting, but _oh_ did they keep up the flirting. Dan had lost count of how many disgustingly cheesy nicknames he had called Phil over the weeks. Phil had a bit of a different tactic, targeting Dan at his weakest times, when he was waking up or falling asleep, when he was leaving the bathroom, when he was deep in the middle of a four hour long tumblr journey. That's when Phil would strike. 

He'd approach slowly and softly, careful not to disturb Dan, until he was close enough and then he would tickle Dan's neck or tackle him to the floor. Once he had even pulled a pen from behind his back at the last second and drawn a large stripe across Dan's face in sharpie. Of course that had been right before they were going to film a video for the gaming channel, so Dan had to explain to their millions of viewers that Phil had decided to finally try to act on his lifelong dream to become invisible and draw on people's faces, just minus the invisibility part. 

They only kissed twice throughout these weeks. The first time was just two days after they had returned. Phil had been in a particularly playful mood, throwing pillows at Dan's head, trying to tickle him, jumping out behind walls. When Phil finally popped up from behind Dan's chair while he was at his desk, grabbing Dan's shoulders and shaking him to scare him, Dan had had enough. He whipped around and out of the chair, tackling Phil on his bed and pressing their lips together firmly. It was only a peck, but it was an aggressive one. 

Both boys laughed for a moment, and then the laughter turned slightly embarrassed as they realized Dan had Phil pinned down on his bed, and they both got up, dusting themselves off. 

The second kiss was much different, and had been a much larger source of confusion for Dan. This kiss happened four days before they were supposed to leave. Dan had had a bad day, and was sulking. He had insomnia the night before, and now he was pacing, jittering from the coffee he had drank to try to keep him awake, but his eyelids kept begging to fall shut. Of course that  _had_ to be the day where he got the call that his mum was back in hospital after she'd had trouble breathing, and eventually fainted. He was shakily packing things up to go back to the hospital as he cried. 

He had actually allowed himself to believe that she was better. Stopped worrying about her. Now she was asleep and they didn't know if she'd wake up. Phil had come in and Dan briefly explained. Phil began packing as well. The minute they were about to leave, Dan got another call that she had woken up and would be fine, she had just forgotten to take her medication that morning and everything would be alright. Dan nearly collapsed on the ground from exhaustion and relief, allowing his bags to fall, and sinking onto the lounge sofa. 

Phil had come to comfort him, wrapping his long arms around Dan's shoulders and whispering comfort in his ear. Dan had cried and nodded to Phil's assurances that his mom would be okay, Dan's head between his knees. 

Finally, once the sobs had stopped but his eyes were still wet, Dan turned to look up at Phil, and Phil had gently taken his chin in his hand, bringing his face up to meet Phil's in a small, tender kiss. It had been salty from the tears, but Phil's lips had been so soft, and Dan felt his entire body turn to jello as all the tension left him. 

He knew this wasn't part of their game. Something about it was different. Technically it didn't break any of their rules, but this kiss felt entirely new, and it left Dan staring at the ceiling many nights, remembering the feeling of Phil's lips on his.

He knew to Phil it was just him trying to comfort a friend in a new way that was now allowed between them, but to Dan this had taken a chisel to his carefully constructed box of feelings, creaking one panel open slightly. 

They hadn't kissed after that, but the next day Phil was making cereal, and Dan walked in, calling him 'honeybear', and Phil had responded with 'sweetums'. It was disgusting and made them both cringe and laugh at the same time, and things were fine. Except Dan's box, which he admitted to himself was definitely leaking. 

Today they were at the train station. They had seen a few fans and said hi, taking pictures, and even signing a copy of TABINOF that one girl just happened to have in her bag. Now they were boarding the train, and Dan was watching the world pass in a blur as they made their way to Phil's home. 

"Are you ready for all of this?" Phil asked, and Dan took a deep breath.

"I think so." He responded, because it would be hard. He and Phil  _had_ acted differently lately, but it was mostly in a joking way, and it certainly wasn't all the time. They had moments of it, but they were still usually just Dan and Phil. Now they had to make this convincing _all_ the time, and not just through teasing nicknames. It'd be new and different and probably a little awkward, but Dan was pretty sure they could do it. 

When they arrived in Manchester, they were met with several hugs and kisses on the cheek. Phil's mum scolded them for not telling her sooner about them, and Phil took Dan's waist in his arm, apologizing with sad puppy eyes, his face buried in Dan's shoulder to look especially pitiful. Martyn hugged both of them, clapping them on the backs, and muttering 'finally' loud enough for everyone to hear, to which Cornelia lightly punched him in the shoulder. 

They were whisked inside, and after quickly dropping their bags off in Phil's room, made their way to the set dinner table. They ate roasted chicken and asparagus, and most of the conversation was about Phil's family. They moved to the subject of Dan's mum, and he assured them that she was already much better, and that the doctors expected full recovery. 

"That's excellent." Phil's dad smiled, and Dan returned the smile. There was a short silence around the table, which Martyn finally broke.

"Okay, if no one else is gonna ask, I will! How did this..." he gestured to Dan and Phil, "happen? And how long ago?" Dan blushed, and Phil took over their carefully crafted story.

"Not too long ago. It was actually on the fourth of July, of all days. So I guess that was, what? Just under a month ago?"

Dan nodded, adding,"Yeah, the day after tomorrow is our monthiversary." cringing at the term and laughing slightly as he saw Martyn's face twist in similar disgust.

Phil continued. "We were joking around, doing fake American accents and all..."

"Which you should  _never_ attempt again, because sometime soon you're going to get murdered by a Texan with a gun." Dan added, and Phil flushed.

"It's not my fault that I can't do an American accent!" 

"No... but it is your fault that you continue to try. Spare the world, please!" Dan pleaded, and Phil chuckled. 

" _Anyway_ , we decided it would be funny to try to be a bit 'American' that night, being July 4th and all, so we made hot dogs and watched a stream of a fireworks show. We were eating and there were the fireworks on the screen, and I looked over, and Dan had a little bit of ketchup on the corner of his mouth, and.... I don't know. I just leaned over and kissed him. We've been together since." Dan looked up through his eyelashes to see how this was being received, and relaxed when he saw that everyone around the table seemed to have bought it, smiling and congratulating the two of them.

"Thanks." Dan said shyly. 

"I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, mum. It was only about two weeks old at that point, and we don't want the internet knowing while it's still so new. We just wanted to take a bit of time to work it out ourselves before telling anyone I suppose." Phil's mum nodded.

"I'm happy for you two. I'm just glad you hadn't been keeping from me that you've been together this whole time!" 

"Mum!" Phil said indignantly. "You know we haven't been."

Phil's mum just shrugged, saying simply, "No one knew for sure, honey. Everyone was suspicious." Dan and Phil both blushed at this, and Dan was grateful when Cornelia had the grace to change the subject. After dinner, everyone said goodnight, and Phil laced his fingers through Dan's as he lead them away from his family and into his old room.

The bed was smaller than Dan had remembered from old visits, and he sighed. They climbed in, and each turned towards the center. Their knees were touching, and their faces were only a few inches apart. When Phil spoke, Dan could feel the warm breath tickling his face and hair. 

"Thank you for coming with. I think they bought it." Dan nodded and watched as Phil closed his eyes. Dan found himself wishing he hadn't. Wishing Phil had decided to stay up and talk, so Dan could look into those deep blue eyes just inches away from him for hours. He stopped short, realizing what he was thinking, and sighed. He really had to get to work on repairing that hole in his box of feelings. 

Several moments had passed, so that Dan's words weren't quite a response to the last thing Phil had said, when Dan whispered, "Good night, Phil." He saw the edges of Phil's mouth curve up in a smile. He hadn't thought he was still awake.

"Night, Pooh Bear." Phil responded, and Dan gently nudged him in protest.

"Not fair. You know Winnie the Pooh is my weakness." Phil shook his head as he smiled and let out a breath through his nose that was almost a huffed laugh, eyes still closed, and reached out to pull Dan against him. Dan's eyebrows shot up for a moment and he tensed, but then slowly let himself relax in Phil's grasp, pressed up along his friend's body as they drifted into sleep. 

 

"You guys are disgusting, and it's mum's birthday so get up to help make breakfast!" Martyn said, flicking on the lights of Phil's room, making the two boys stir in the bed. 

"Go away, Martyn!" Phil grumbled, throwing a pillow in his brother's general direction, but missing.

Martyn began to close the door, but shot back one last, "Don't take too long fucking in the shower before you come help!" Dan was bright red when Phil looked down at him, laughing. 

"Ughhhhh..." Dan groaned, turning so his face was muffled into the pillow. "This is weird."

"Don't tell me you're backing out now, honey bun!" Phil teased, leaning in to tickle Dan. "Or actually... maybe do. I could deal with you losing and having to do all the washing up for a while." Dan squirmed Phil's hands away, and rolled so he could look up at Phil.

"No, but really. This is weird. The two of us... what are we doing?" Phil's smirk fell off his face as he realized Dan wasn't joking.

"I don't know. If you want to back out for real... if you think this is a bad idea, we can just act like it never happened. We'll just keep it up for my parents and then we can fake a breakup in a week or so." Dan sighed. Why did Phil have to be so kind? Of course if Phil wanted to back out Dan would let him, but he'd certainly claim his victory from their little 'game' and make Phil serve the punishment. But of course, Phil was too good for him and just _had_ to be the bigger man. Dan was fucked. 

"No... it's okay. I'm not backing out, it's just. We just have to be careful with our viewers is all." Dan scrambled for a reason, not wanting to actually delve into why this was strange for him. Phil nodded, clearly somewhat unconvinced, but he let it go to Dan's relief. And there it was, just another reason Phil was too good for Dan. 

"Alright, so we're okay though? Just so long as we're careful, this whole... thing... is still alright with you?" Phil asked, looking to Dan for confirmation. Dan took a deep breath and propped himself up on one elbow so he could meet Phil's lips with his own briefly.

"Yeah. Yeah it's alright." And he almost thought he saw a blush cross Phil's cheeks. 

The two boys got dressed for the day and made their way into the kitchen, helping Martyn and Cornelia to make pancakes for breakfast. 

"Morning, lovebirds." Martyn cooed as they entered the kitchen. "How'd you sleep? Or did you?" He laughed, shooting them a wink, and Dan blushed. 

"We did sleep, really well in fact. It's nice being home, and Dan just makes it all the warmer and cozier." Phil cooed, hugging Dan from behind, and then kissing his neck lightly. 

Dan shuddered, instinctively swatting Phil off.

"Hey, neck's off limits!" He complained, picking some nuts out of a bowl on the counter, and proceeding to pelt Phil with the small brown spheres. 

Phil laughed, squealing, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" until Dan ran out of nuts, and Phil sprinted up to him before he could reach for more, pinning Dan's hands behind his back to restrain him. They were nose to nose, and Phil closed the gap, planting a sweet kiss on Dan's lips, followed by a playful peck to the tip of his nose. 

"You two are disgusting." Martyn groaned.

"Hey, it's cute!" Cornelia argued, and Dan blushed as Phil released his hands, snaking an arm around his back and to his waist. Dan leaned into the touch, but then pulled away. 

"I should probably clean these up before your mum wakes up... sorry." Dan apologized, and Phil kneeled down with Dan to help him search for the nuts littering the floor. Dan wished Phil hadn't helped, because he was hoping that their difference in elevation would help to hide the rising blush in Dan's cheeks, but now Phil was right in front of him, looking up from the ground with those circular blue eyes, and Dan wanted nothing more than to crawl over and kiss him, and he knew he could and he could get away with it, but it felt wrong because he wasn't doing it for the lie. He wanted to do this for himself. 

His box was falling to pieces.

Dan stood up and dusted himself off, depositing the waisted nuts in the trash, and moving to help set the table. 

Soon the food was ready and Phil's parents were coming down the stairs, and there were hugs being exchanged, and everyone was wishing Phil's mum a happy birthday, and Dan was able to forget about his feelings, and simply enjoy the feel of family. They ate breakfast, and Martyn told them all to go out and get on a bus. 

"Where are we going?" Phil had asked, skeptically.

"You'll have to wait and see. But I promise, you're all going to love it."

 

 


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't want to give much away... but just so you know, for the dice in this chapter I legitimately just went to a website and rolled the dice. Decided it'd be more authentic and random that way xD

Dan didn't like surprises. He sighed and went along with whatever Martyn was planning, but when Martyn held the door open to a mysterious thin building with no windows wedged between two shops, Dan's heart rate began accelerating. Dan had struggled with anxiety a lot on and off throughout his life. Luckily the past few years the attacks had been fewer and further in between, but he was beginning to feel the familiar cold sweat, and his knees were wobbling as they walked down a dark and narrow hallway. He really did not like surprises. 

Dan reached out to the wall to steady himself, trailing his fingers along the wall so that he knew where it was, and had something to lean on if need be. It only took Phil about four seconds to realize this before Dan felt an arm around his waist, and he gratefully leaned into Phil, putting his own arm around his friend's shoulders. 

"You okay?" Phil whispered in his ear, and Dan nodded quickly, because he didn't really trust his voice right now. He tried to remember to breathe, and did his best to inhale and exhale deeply and slowly, but he was struggling. 

"I'm right here, Dan. I'm right here and you're safe. Do you want to leave?" Phil asked, and Dan's heart ached. How had he gotten so lucky as to have someone as incredible and thoughtful as Phil in his life? But no, this was the big surprise for Phil's mum's birthday, and Dan wasn't going to ruin it, especially when it was probably nothing to panic about. It was just the claustrophobia and his fear of the dark, and the fact that he  _hated_ surprises. 

The hallway was long, and it gave Dan time to regain his natural breathing pattern, feeling his heart rate slow. Phil began to tell him a story about a butterfly and a cat who wanted to be friends but their species wouldn't allow for it, and Dan relaxed a bit, leaning on Phil, and making sure to only pay attention to the sound of his voice.

Phil had learned this trick years ago, when Dan's panic attacks were worse and more common. He would make up a story and Dan would listen, forgetting everything else around him, and usually it would bring him back. Dan had heard many stories throughout the years, and it didn't matter how silly or ridiculous or cheesy they were, he loved them and he loved Phil for doing this for him. Platonic love, of course. 

Finally they were reaching the end of the hall, and Dan was feeling like he could hold his own weight now without falling over. He stayed leaning on Phil's shoulder. They made their way into a room and stopped, looking around in confusion. A man was in the room, wearing a suit and tie. He walked up to Martyn and nodded, and then proceeded to leave the room, shutting and locking the door behind him. 

Martin beamed at the group in pride, but everyone just stared at him, confused. 

"Aw, come on guys, you really haven't figured it out yet? I thought you do this 'room escape' stuff for birthdays all the time?"

A collective sigh of relief was heard throughout the group, and Dan felt Phil turn his head to whisper into Dan's hair, "I told you everything was going to be alright. You gonna be okay?" Dan pulled away from Phil finally, nodding, and placed a kiss on Phil's cheek in appreciation. Phil smiled at him, and they turned back to Martyn. 

"Alright, so where do we start?" Phil asked his brother, who grinned. 

 

"Well, okay this isn't exactly an escape room. This is a new thing that they're trying, and it's more like a series of challenges you have to complete before getting out. It's specifically designed for couples." and Dan could have sworn Martyn shot him and Phil a wink there, "At first this was just gonna be a present to you mum, for you and dad, but they gave me a really good deal, so I booked a 'triple date'." Martyn looked at all of them in pride, and Dan felt nervousness and excitement rush through him all at once. What did 'designed for couples' mean? He loved escapes and challenges, but this could get real awkward real fast. 

"Okay... so where do we start?" Cornelia prompted, and Martyn shrugged. 

"I don't know. I guess that's our first challenge." Dan looked around the room. It was a pretty empty room. There was just the one door that was locked, a small desk with a chair, a potted plant in the corner, one painting that looked like it hadn't been dusted in years, and a Persian rug on the ground. Dan went over to search the desk as Phil moved to the potted plant. Of course Phil would go for the potted plant first. Dan chuckled inwardly at his friend. 

After searching the two small drawers on the desk and coming up with nothing other than a pad of blank sticky notes, a few paperclips, and some old pencils, Dan gave up. He moved to the chair and looked to see if any pieces detached. Phil's parents seemed to be having no luck with the painting they were examining, and Martyn and Cornelia were trying to see if they could re-open the front door. Dan and Phil both had the same idea at the same time, and together they pulled back the rug to reveal a small square.

"Trapdoor!" Dan announced, and the whole group turned to look. He leaned down and grabbed the small handle, tugging until it opened up, revealing a dark hole and a ladder. Steeling himself, Dan lowered into the trap door, hanging onto the cold metal ladder for dear life. 

As they descended, Dan was in the lead, doing everything he could not to panic again. It was a long ladder and taking him a while to get down, and he was just starting to feel his heartbeat increase, when Phil (probably unintentionally this time) helped once again to wipe away any thoughts of Dan's stress from his mind. He did, however, nearly fall from the ladder with his sudden outburst of laughter when he heard Phil quietly singing to himself the 'ladder song' from their old video. 

"Yeah, Phil, I think this is where we need to film our official music video!" he joked, and Phil chuckled. 

"Exactly what I was thinking. Although your voice is so high... I was thinking I might just get Mariah Carey to do it instead of you. You know, because we need someone with a lower range than your shrieks." 

"Shut up!" Dan giggled, and then his feet were touching the padded floor (he assumed it was padded in case anyone did fall), and his hands found a string. He pulled and the lights flickered on, earning another collective sigh from the group. 

Dan remembered that he and Phil were supposed to be a couple, and even though he knew there didn't seem to be any doubt on the matter, it still seemed important to keep up appearances for consistencies sake. At least that's what he told himself. He turned and grabbed onto Phil's waist as his friend came within a few rungs of the floor, picking him off of the ladder and twirling him around before setting him down on the ground. 

"Hey! You scared me!" Phil shrieked, giggling. Dan didn't respond, simply kissing Phil's cheek and grinning. Phil smiled back, and then they looked around the room. There were three ropes lying on the ground and... oh no. Dan knew exactly what this was. He walked up to a small stand where the description of this challenge was, and he laughed in defeat. 

"Phil... looks like we get to keep working on our three legged skills! After DDR was such a success!" Sure enough, once everyone had made it down the ladder, they were all tying these ropes around the ankles of each couple, and facing the three slip and slides before them. Dan shook his head and laughed, wondering how on earth he had gotten in this situation, and if there was  _any_ chance he and Phil could get through this without breaking something. 

Phil looked over and took Dan's hand in his, and they moved to stand right in front of their slip and slide. The water poured out from a hose over the slippery plastic, and the ground was tilted just slightly downhill. This would be fun. And by fun, he meant deadly. Martyn started the countdown, and Dan squeezed Phil's hand.

"Three... Two... ONE!" They all lunged forward, and Martyn and Cornelia went down straight away, a buzzer over their slip and slide going off, and a red 'X' appearing. They just laughed and slid on their stomachs the rest of the way. Phil's parents were actually doing pretty well, slow but steady. Dan had always loved how adventurous and youthful Phil's parents could be.

Dan wasn't focusing on any of this, however, as he and Phil were simply chanting "Out, in, out, in, out, in." to pace when they moved with their outer legs or their connected leg in the middle. They moved with small, careful steps, teetering here and there, but always pulling the other back up. Somehow they made it to the end and their buzzer dinged with a little green checkmark. Dan and Phil enthusiastically high fived, and Dan actually jumped into it, forgetting that they were connected at the leg, causing Phil and him to topple over into a mess of tangled limbs.

Cornelia made her way over with a pair of scissors she and Martyn had used to separate themselves, and helped Dan and Phil apart. They collapsed, breathing hard and laughing, and then detangled and got to their feet to cheer Phil's parents the rest of the way. Once they were all across they cut the ropes and moved on, finding three tables coated in soft green fuzz, with two blank screens on each side, and two large dice placed on each table. 

They ran up to the tables, and Dan stood across Phil, looking down at the dice. Dan felt his heart jump into his throat. These were the classic 'love dice' that people would get, making them do weird things together based on what the dice said. Dan panicked for a moment, then looked around to see that Martyn and Cornelia and Phil's parents had already rolled and were already beginning their challenges, so he took a deep breath, and looked across at Phil. They shared a momentary look of, 'I guess we're doing this, oh well, here goes!' and Phil picked up the dice and rolled.

"Kiss neck." He read out loud, and an evil grin spread across his face.

"You cheated!" Dan protested, and Phil laughed as he moved around the table towards Dan.

"Dan, you watched me roll. Now get ready." Phil's eyes glinted with excitement, and Dan groaned. He allowed Phil to put his lips to Dan's neck, where he felt the expected electrical pulse to flow through his body. What he didn't expect was for Phil to stay there, opening his mouth and allowing his teeth to graze Dan's skin, sucking at his neck. Dan pushed Phil off, laughing uncomfortably and wiping the saliva off his neck. One of the blank screens had lit up with a green check on Phil's side.

"Hey!" He complained, and Phil just shot back a cheeky grin. 

"Fine, you want to play dirty?" Dan grabbed the dice and rolled.

"Kiss hands." he read out, and then groaned. "How am I supposed to get revenge by kissing hands? This is rigged!" Phil chuckled as he daintily extended his arms across the table. Dan begrudgingly took them and pressed his lips against them unceremoniously. "There. Done." One of his boxes got a green check.

"I'm getting excited, now! What'll it be?" Phil said dramatically, rolling the dice. 

"Scratch lips?" He read out, and Dan saw him thinking for a minute. Dan wasn't sure about this one, it didn't seem sexual, just... weird. Phil made his way around the table, still thinking, and then Dan saw the exact moment when Phil had an idea.

A split second later, Dan was wrapped in Phil's arms, and Phil had his bottom lip in his teeth, scraping Dan's lips with his teeth. Dan's eyes widened, but he didn't pull away in fear that Phil would accidentally keep hold of his lip and it'd get torn off. Eventually Phil let go, and gave Dan a side smirk.

"See, Dan? You can one up people anytime, you just have to be creative!" Dan rolled his eyes and picked up the dice, determined to best Phil this time. 

"Massage breasts? I swear these dice hate me!" Dan whined, as Phil jutted out his chest as an invitation. 

"Are you insulting me? Never insult a girl's breasts, it's not my fault I'm an A cup!" Phil put a hand to his puffed out chest in mock hurt. Dan laughed, and made his way to Phil, trying to think of any way to top what Phil had done. 

Eventually he gave up, unable to think of anything, and simply settled for reaching underneath Phil's shirt to try and squeeze whatever skin laid on top of Phil's ribcage. What he hadn't expected was the sharp gasp that Phil let out the moment Dan's finger brushed over his nipple. They both froze in that instant and made eye contact. They had an entire conversation in that moment, just with their eyes. 

_"Don't you dare."_

_"What just happened?"  
_

_"We are never speaking of this again."_

_"Phil! Do you like your nipples being touched?"_ Here, Dan smirked, and relished in the blush that appeared across Phil's cheeks. 

Dan took his thumbs and, light as a feather, teased and traced them over Phil's nipples. Phil shut his eyes and took in a sharp breath of air, a small squeak rising in his throat that was just barely audible to Dan. Dan's eyes widened at this, and then widened even further as he realized exactly what he was doing right now, and he quickly removed his hands from Phil's shirt. All four of their screens had checks now, and they moved on to wait for the other couples. 

They passed through a few more challenges like this, each one testing Dan and Phil's comfort zones, but every time Dan felt awkward, he just reminded himself that it was a challenge and he was supposed to try and make Phil squirm, and that made it so much easier. 

Finally they reached the last challenge, which consisted of small blocked off rooms. The three groups wished each other luck as they stepped into their rooms. The room was black and small, save a table with two trays, one holding six little chocolate truffles, and the other holding one chocolate covered strawberry. Dan went to the podium to read the description.

**This is your reward as well as a challenge, and this is the first where you will be working against each other. These are the rules:**

**1\. You can only touch the food with your mouth.**

**2\. Start with the truffles.**

**3\. Whoever gets to the strawberry first wins.**

Dan looked at Phil, and they made their way to the wall opposite the table. 

"Ready?" Dan asked.

Phil nodded. "Three, two, one, GO!" Dan and Phil rushed forward, and each bit into a truffle, bonking heads slightly since they had to take them straight off the tray with their mouths. At first Dan had thought this would be easy, but feeling the rich, creamy, thick chocolate on his tongue, he realized eating three of these could take him a few minutes. He looked to Phil with his eyebrows raised in shock, seeing that Phil seemed to be having the same realization. Nevertheless, they pressed on, and Phil was only picking his truffle up a few seconds before Dan. 

Dan grinned through his second truffle. This was fun. He was a competitive person, especially with Phil. While the other challenges had technically been competition, they hadn't felt like it since he didn't really feel he was working  _against_ the other teams, so much as working  _with_ Phil. Now it was a head to head competition, and he felt his blood pumping. 

They each reached for their third truffles at the same time, and Dan was beginning to see the appeal of the moist strawberry, the dryness of the truffles making them hard to swallow. He worked at it inside his mouth, and just almost had the last bit down, Phil bent down and bit into the strawberry, holding it between his teeth, and Dan's shoulders sank in defeat. 

Phil grinned, holding his fists up in celebration, strawberry between his teeth, and Dan wanted to wipe that smile right off his face. 

He didn't think when he moved forward quickly, putting his hands on the table on either side of Phil, sufficiently backing him against a wall. He didn't think as he leaned in and bit the strawberry in Phil's mouth, using his tongue to dart between Phil's lips and scoop the strawberry out, but Phil was too quick. Phil bit down, cutting the strawberry in half, then opened right as Dan's tongue entered, and Phil was trying to work his own tongue into Dan's mouth to get his half of the strawberry back. They giggled a bit as they awkwardly licked in and out of each other's mouths, almost giddy at the new and foreign sensation, wrestling with their wet and warm tongues. 

Neither of them noticed when the strawberry halves got ejected from their mouths, falling to the floor.

They continued the kiss, and they were no longer giggling. Dan had Phil against the table, and Phil's arms made their way up and around Dan's neck, tangling in his hair. Their tongues played games, sweet and smooth, and then a second later rough and playful. 

After about thirty seconds, Dan froze and his eyes shot open. He saw Phil's eyes mirror his own, and he stepped back from Phil, hand over his mouth in shock.

This had not been in the rules. This was not in the explicit list of boundaries they had scrawled out. Light pecks, and that's _it_. The only time anything more heated was even entertained as a possibility was if they were in a situation that called for its necessity because they were  _in public_ and  _having to convince people they were together._ This was neither of those things. They were alone, and there was no explanation for why they had just explicitly made out.   

"Um..." Phil stuttered, and Dan shook his head. They couldn't talk about this now. Not when Phil's family was all so close by. Not when they'd have to be around that family the minute they left, even if this ended sourly. Dan reached forward and took Phil's hand in his, but he didn't lace their fingers. He somewhat aggressively pulled Phil out of the room, and they stood at the exit door, waiting for the other groups, not talking, and not looking at each other. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic still has a bit to go, but it's not going to be an enormous fic and I'm trying to brainstorm ideas for what to work on next.   
> If you have any requests/suggestions/prompts, PLEASE comment them below or email me at mollieblack123@gmail.com :) Thank you <3


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the most awkward thing I've ever written (not just this chapter, but the entire fic) and it makes me cringe but I love it :D

Why had he done that? Why had Phil let him? Or was it the other way around? Truth be told, Dan really didn't know who started heating up the kiss, he just knew it had been unplanned and he didn't know where to go from here. 

He and Phil stood in awkward silence until the two other groups emerged, Cornelia wiping chocolate off her cheek. 

"Martyn... that was a really weird birthday gift to give your mum..." Phil's father said, and Dan chuckled a bit under his breath. "Not that I'm complaining." and Phil's dad leaned over, pecking his wife on the cheek, who blushed and giggled. It made Dan's heart warm. He had always admired how Phil's parents still acted like teenagers in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship. 

Without thinking, Dan looked over at Phil and smiled. Phil returned with a sweet smile, and a second passed before Dan remembered what had happened just minutes earlier, and quickly averted his gaze back to the ground, his grin falling from his face. 

The full group turned around as they heard a click, and saw a door swing open to the outside. They walked out, and along the way there were little gift bags for each couple. Dan and Phil's bag had a little extra bag hanging off the side, with a tag that read, ' **FOR THE WINNERS** '

"I knew I shouldn't have invited the YouTubers along. You're all too used to games and challenges, it's not fair!" Martyn complained jokingly, and Dan heard Phil laugh a little from his side. Phil took the bag, and they stepped onto the pavement, eyes adjusting to the midday light. 

"Alright, so what's next?" Cornelia asked, hanging onto Martyn's arm. 

"Well I figured we could end the day off with something a little lighter, just some fun with the family. I figured we could just go play some board games and spend some good old fashioned family time," Martyn grabbed Dan's shoulder and pulled him in for a side hug, Cornelia on his other side as he referenced 'family time', and Dan chuckled at the fact that he and Cornelia were the only two Martyn  _wasn't_ related to in this group. Though maybe that was why he did that, to make them feel included. Dan smiled. "And then later tonight I booked a fancy reservation for you two at a nice restaurant, all paid." Martyn directed the end of his plan for the day towards his parents, who smiled and thanked him. 

They made their way to a bus stop, and boarded. Dan was forced to stand shoved up next to Phil, and he felt his face heat up, remembering what had happened earlier. He felt Phil's fingers lace through his own and squeeze, and he looked up to meet Phil's concerned eyes. Once again, they didn't need words to speak.

_Dan, are you okay?_

_Yeah... that was just weird and I'm feeling awkward._

_Hey it's okay. We can just forget about it. Enjoy today, and we can talk later._

_Okay... thank you._

Dan was grateful that they could communicate simply with looks and hand squeezes, and he leaned his head onto Phil's shoulder tentatively, relieved when he felt Phil rest his on top of Dan's. Just then, Dan realized they were on a public bus and could't be doing this now in case a fan was around, and he broke apart from Phil, but he was laughing, and everything seemed alright.

They got back to Phil's house, and set up a game of Monopoly around the table. Dan sighed, remembering how the last time he and Phil had played Monopoly he had ended up throwing a hotel at Phil's head. He really needed to tone down his competitive nature.

The game was long, and after three hours, Phil's parents had to leave to make their dinner reservations, and the rest all conceded that Phil had won, since he owned over two thirds of the board, and honestly the rest were just hanging on by threads. Martyn and Cornelia said their goodbyes, informing Dan and Phil that they had also made reservations for themselves at a much less fancy restaurant. They invited Dan and Phil to go along, but Dan was relieved when Phil spoke for them, saying it had been a big day and they'd be fine with whatever was in the kitchen cupboards. Dan didn't want to go out. 

He didn't entirely want to have the inevitable conversation with Phil either, though, so when Martyn and Cornelia left, he found himself sitting in awkward silence across from Phil on the couch, twiddling his thumbs. The silence dragged out, finally being cut off by both Dan and Phil at the same time.

"So... Attack on Titan?" Dan suggested, as the same time as Phil started,

"So... the kiss." They both paused for a moment, looking at each other, then looked away, blushing. 

"Yeah... that." Dan agreed, unsure of how to proceed.

"I mean... it wasn't bad." Phil said timidly, and Dan's eyebrows shot up, snapping his gaze back to Phil's in surprise. His mind had gone in circles as to what they'd say about it, how it'd affect their relationship, what it'd mean, if Phil was angry. He hadn't for once considered that Phil was going to talk about what it was like. 

Phil seemed concerned by this reaction and Dan's lack of a response, continuing with an even more timid, "...was it?" 

"No! No, no it wasn't. I just... wasn't expecting that." Dan reassured.

"You weren't expecting me to say that, or the kiss?" Phil asked, a tiny smile tickling the corner of his mouth.

"Both." Dan laughed honestly. 

"Yeah... me neither. But I mean..." Phil took a deep breath. "Okay. I don't want to make this weird, so if it's weird please just tell me. But honestly, it's not  _that_ different from what we've been doing already. It didn't feel wrong, it just surprised me after was all, and then you seemed all angry or sad or something so I just didn't know what to do. But it wasn't bad, and if we're already doing this... I mean it felt good and it felt more... intimate. It could help us to be more comfortable... more convincing?" Phil said, ironically entirely unconvincingly.

Dan almost laughed at how ridiculous that sounded, but he didn't because he understood what Phil meant, and maybe just a tiny part of him wanted to go along with the 'practice being a couple so they could be more convincing' idea, even though it was feeling more and more like a cover for something else every minute. 

"Yeah, I mean... just for practice." Dan blushed, looking up through his eyelashes at Phil.

"Okay." Phil agreed shakily. "So... that's okay?" Dan chewed his lip. The tension in the air made his skin tingle.

"Yeah... I suppose." Dan tried to shrug it off, trying to play it cool, as if his heart wasn't doing little flips.

"Okay. Good to know." Silence engulfed them, and Dan began twiddling his thumbs again. "So... what was that about Attack on Titan?" Phil asked, laughing nervously, and Dan laughed too.

"I'll get it set up, you get us some food?" Dan asked, and Phil nodded. 

Of course Phil would make cereal for dinner.

They settled down with their Shreddies and microwaved popcorn, and Dan smiled when Phil sat down close enough that their thighs were lightly pressed together. Everything was okay, his stress about the kiss could be forgotten. In fact, it was quickly being replaced with anticipation and excitement about a possible repetition, but he tried not to think about that. 

They made their way through three episodes before deciding to retire to Phil's room. It was still fairly early, but they were both tired from the events of the day. 

As Dan walked into the room, he saw their gift bag sitting on the dresser. Phil must have put it there, he had entirely forgotten it. 

"What's in here?" Dan asked, walking up to the bag. Phil stiffened, and Dan raised an eyebrow, tilting the bag open to look inside. 

Immediately a blush covered his cheeks as he heard Phil let out a nervous laugh. 

"Yeah... I mean it is a couples thing, I shouldn't have expected less. We can just throw it away or something. Save the chocolate, of course."

Dan nodded slowly. Inside the bag was a box of the truffles from before, sitting on top of a bedding of condoms. Dan dared to open the small bag on the side for them winning, and saw a small fancy bottle. He took the bottle out, curious, and oblivious to Phil's eyes widening in shock and embarrassment. Dan had actually thought it was cologne for a second, it was packaged so fancily, but when he realized he was holding a bottle of expensive lube, he quickly shoved it back in the bag. 

"Oh... um..." Dan stuttered.

"Yeah. We can just give it away or something. Um... I'm gonna go shower." Phil stuttered, and made his way into the bathroom.

Phil showered, and Dan put the bag in his suitcase to deal with later. He just wanted to be able to put it somewhere out of sight, and he already felt more relaxed as he shut his suitcase, allowing the bag to disappear from his mind. He killed his time waiting by scrolling through comments on their gaming channel, trying to find recommendations for new games for them to play. After ten minutes of scrolling with not a recommendation in sight, instead all of the comments just relating to "phan" and ogling over what shirts they were wearing, he switched to browsing through Mark and Jack's channels, finding some of the one-off games they'd played. Dan and Phil liked the sims, but other than that they weren't so much into the long let's play sequels on their channel. 

He made a short list of about seven or eight games to look into when he heard the water turn off. He collected his pyjama bottoms and a loose tshirt to bring to the bathroom so he could change into them after his turn in the shower, when Phil stepped out, clad only in his boxers. 

Dan's eyes widened at the sight. It wasn't as if he'd never seen this before, he and Phil had seen each other naked several times. It was fairly inevitable, them being flatmates for so long. Still, Phil was about to climb into the bed they were  _sharing_ tonight. Somehow, that made his level of nakedness more intimidating.

"Is this okay?" Phil asked, noticing Dan staring, nervousness written all over his face.

"Yeah. Yeah it's fine. It is August anyway." Dan tried to say casually. He thought for a moment before discarding the shirt back into his suitcase. He was going to keep his pyjama pants on, but it _was_ the middle of summer and it'd be nice to have a relief from some of the heat. 

Dan stepped into the shower, letting the hot water flow over him. It stung a little bit, but he enjoyed it. Eyes closed, water running over his naked form, his mind took him back to that kiss. The taste of strawberry and chocolate and  _Phil_. He pulled up short, eyes opening. He could  _not_ be thinking about this right now. Not only because he was pretty much fantasizing about his best friend while naked in the shower, not because his best friend was in the  _next room,_ but because he was becoming increasingly aware that he hadn't tended to himself in a few days, and the build up was causing him to be extra... sensitive. Even to just thoughts. 

Dan felt the pain in his abdomen increase as he tried to shove the thoughts aside, only making them more and more prominent in his mind. Finally he gave in and placed his palm over his cock, pressing slightly, just enough to relieve the pain. 

He'd hoped that this little problem was going to just go away, but it was becoming increasingly clear that that wasn't going to happen. Dan sighed and wrapped his fingers around his aching cock, deciding he'd just make this as quick as possible and try to just clear his mind. 

It didn't work.

Not even three strokes in, he was remembering Phil's scent. How it had mixed so well with the strawberries and chocolate, since Phil always had a warm and sweet raspberry smell about him. How Phil had felt in his mouth, rough but warm, exciting but comforting. Dan's strokes quickened as he remembered pressing Phil back against the table as they kissed, feeling Phil take in a breath as their lips collided. Phil's hands in his hair, twisting and tugging, and... 

Dan came in pulses along his chest and the wall of the shower as he shuddered and bit his lip to hold in any sound. His knees wobbled, feeling weak, and he extended his free hand to the wall of the shower to hold himself upright. After a few deep and uneven breaths, he cleaned the warm white liquid off of the shower wall, trying not to think about what he had just done. 

He finished showering and made his way back into the bedroom, clad only in his pyjama pants. He tried not to make too much eye contact with Phil as he climbed into bed, but then Phil was pulling him towards the older boy, wrapping his arms around Dan's bare waist and back, and Dan felt shivers run up his spine. 

Dan looked up to meet Phil's eyes, and he found his gaze trapped immediately in the etherial blue eyes staring back at him. He watched these eyes as they flitted down to his lips and then back up, but he didn't move his gaze, staring in wonder as to what color they truly were, but entranced by their beauty, and enjoying the mystery. 

The corner of Phil's lips tugged upwards in a half smile as he cupped Dan's cheek with one of his hands, but Dan still didn't look away from his eyes. Even as Phil leaned forward slowly, eyes back on Dan's lips, he kept his gaze trained on Phil's eyes. He only finally closed his own as he felt Phil's mouth take his.

This wasn't a peck.

Phil went in and his lips were slightly parted, causing Dan to part his own. Dan shuddered as he felt Phil's tongue invade his mouth, warmly running over Dan's own, then tugging at the roof of his mouth before returning to its usual home. It made these circles again and again, and Dan began to copy this movement, exploring Phil's mouth. He felt as if a hole had opened in his stomach and all of his insides were being sucked in, causing a yearning inside of him for  _more_.

Dan raised his own hands to Phil's jaw, cupping as he worked his way in and out of Phil's mouth, allowing low sounds to escape his throat. 

Phil now had his hands digging into Dan's waist, and he was pushing Dan to his back, swinging his leg over Dan to straddle him as their kiss deepened, something Dan hadn't thought was possible until now. Phil hovered over him for a few moments, licking in and out of Dan's mouth, before he slowly lowered himself so their bare chests pressed against each other, and Dan unintentionally let a whine escape his lips, causing Phil to chuckle for a moment, pulling back and opening his eyes so they were looking at each other. 

Phil was propped up on one elbow and smiled down at Dan, brushing one of Dan's still-wet curls out from where it had stuck to his forehead. 

"This okay?" Phil asked, barely a whisper. Dan only nodded in response, using his hands in Phil's hair to pull him back down into another kiss. Eventually Phil left Dan's mouth, resulting in another whine from Dan, this time a complaint from the emptiness of his mouth which now felt incomplete without Phil's tongue making its constant explorations. He wasn't left dissatisfied for long, however, as Phil moved to Dan's neck. 

Dan's head fell backwards as Phil started with small firm kisses, moving up and down Dan's neck, from his collarbone to his earlobe, where Phil would stop for a moment to take the soft flesh between his teeth, grazing and tugging Dan's earlobe, causing him to shudder, and his hips to buck up slightly. He hoped Phil hadn't noticed his involuntary movement, but who was he kidding, they were pressed together like sardines. 

Phil moved back down to Dan's collarbone, to the spot he had sucked on during their game of dice. He looked up at Dan for a moment, pulling Dan's own gaze down to see Phil's smirk before he licked over the very light mark, and then darted in like a predator to their prey, biting and sucking as Dan arched his back under him, sure that this was going to leave a mark, but Dan didn't care because it felt  _so good._

Even though he had just taken care of himself in the shower, Dan was beginning to feel that familiar tug in his abdomen, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't aware of the slight pressure he was feeling through Phil's boxers, so when Phil pulled away from his hickey, Dan braced his arm against Phil's shoulder, holding him above Dan for a moment, taking the respite to catch his breath.

"Phil... feels good. Don't _want_ you to stop." Dan took another breath, trying to regulate his breathing so he could speak properly. "But this is probably a bad idea. We should probably stop." He saw a flicker cross Phil's face, and Dan couldn't exactly place it. Doubt? Disappointment? Frustration? He didn't know, but he _did_ know that whatever it was, it made him want to pull Phil back down into a kiss, wiping away any trace of negative emotion.

Quickly Phil's expression had been replaced with an understanding smile, though, as he rolled off Dan and onto his back.

"Wow." Was all he said, laughing a little.

"You're telling me." Dan responded, looking over to Phil as he giggled.

"So... tell me again why we haven't been doing this for longer?" Phil asked, and Dan wracked his brain for any acceptable answer to that.

"We didn't have anything to practice for before?" He almost asked, unconvincingly.

"Right. Practice." And Dan could almost _hear_ Phil's eyes roll. It was such a bullshit excuse, and they both knew it.

What Dan didn't know was why Phil was going along with this excuse. Was he just using Dan? It'd make sense... neither of them got much action... well Dan didn't get any at all. He didn't know about Phil, but he knew it couldn't be that much. To get a free pass to make out with someone wasn't something that came your way every day. That was probably what he was doing, and honestly Dan didn't really care.

Sure, his box had been smashed to smithereens and Dan didn't even have a splinter of it left inside of him, his feelings running wild and free, but he enjoyed this too much with Phil to allow himself to be sad that Phil didn't feel the same way. He got to be close to Phil. He got to kiss freaking Phil Lester, and Dan couldn't be upset. 

Dan fell asleep with a smile on his face, Phil curled around him from behind, feeling Phil's hand over his bare chest right where his heart lie, and he tried to keep his breathing steady to calm down his heart rate so Phil couldn't tell just how much Dan's heart was racing. He'd be getting no sleep tonight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading, and PLEASE leave a comment below, whether it be criticism, requests, or anything else :D I'll respond to everyone! :) <3
> 
> Also, PLEASE let me know below if you want smut in this fic. I'm undecided about whether or not to include much, and if I do how much to include. No matter what it'll mostly be story, but I can definitely add in smut if that's what you guys want. Let me know! <3 Thank you :)


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Phil's POV and just a fair warning it's a VERY short chapter, and ENTIRELY ridiculously fluffy fluff that is so sweet it'll make your teeth fall out. Enjoy! :D

Phil woke up, breathing in the warm and comforting smell of Dan's hair, giving into his instincts, and tightening his arms to squeeze around Dan's waist. He let out a long sigh, not caring that when he smiled Dan's hair got caught up in his teeth. He loved Dan's hair curly, and now that Dan had slept on it wet it was at full volume and Phil entertained himself for a while, just blowing the curls back and forth, watching them spring back into place and giggling a bit. 

Phil had always been grateful that he could find so much enjoyment in the little things in life. While other people had to always be doing something or have some sort of constant stimulation, all he needed was the boy in front of him, the scent of honey and pine that somehow always seemed to surround his best friend ironically, even though he rarely went outside and was scared of trees. He could lay here all day and not get bored, just playing with Dan's hair and tracing small circles on Dan's bare stomach with his fingers. 

He sighed, thinking about the day before. How much fun he'd had going through the challenges with Dan. How he'd fallen into a fit of giggles when they had toppled over after the three legged race. The way Dan had gotten all flustered when he had took the younger's lip between his teeth, pulling his teeth along the soft and wet piece of flesh, making Dan shiver. He loved getting the upper hand on Dan this way, and he loved watching Dan get all worked up when he wasn't in control, when he wasn't  _winning._  

Of course Phil rooted for Dan in every aspect of his life aside from that. He wanted Dan to succeed, just not so much when it came to him. He supposed he didn't exactly want Dan to succeed with dating... that was probably the only exception, but that sort of went hand in hand with not wanting Dan to succeed when it came to Phil. He wanted Dan to fail at finding love with someone else, because he couldn't imagine a world where someone was more important in Dan's life than Phil, and he'd be the first to admit he was a bit possessive of their friendship. He wasn't nearly as bad as Dan was, though, so he let himself off the hook. 

He wasn't entirely sure how much Dan had dated throughout the years, he only knew that anything Dan had done couldn't have been very serious, and he must have been very discreet, because Phil hadn't ever heard of anything. The last time Phil had kissed anyone for real had been over nine years ago, just a little before the first time he had Skyped with Dan. He'd kissed people since then on dares, or every once in a while when he had gotten too drunk, but nothing real had ever happened, and nothing had escalated beyond a simple kiss.

He didn't mind, though. You'd think that he would be frustrated being single for so long, but he got to spend his life surrounded by _Dan Howell_ , and even if nothing romantic ever happened between them, he could be content with that. 

He couldn't believe the turn their relationship had taken recently, and it took all he had not to lose himself completely in it. He didn't want to allow himself to completely fall, because eventually Dan was going to call it off. Eventually Dan's mum would be completely recovered, and they'd find a way to tell their families that they decided they'd be better as friends. Eventually this would all have to happen, but Phil didn't want to think about that now. 

Right now he just wanted to inhale Dan's scent and smile into his hair, allowing himself to indulge in the permission he had right now to be as coupley with Dan as he wanted. 

He grinned as Dan made a small noise as he woke, stretching his arms out and his legs back, extending to his ridiculously full height, before curling back up into a ball and then rolling over to face Phil, a small and sleepy grin on his face, his eyelids only half open. 

Phil admired Dan's long and dark lashes, the tiny and light freckles that dotted the bridge of his nose and the tops of his cheeks, his soft and full lips. Dan was beautiful, and Phil loved that he had an excuse to actually take this time to admire his friend, used to having to keep his glances discreet and quick. As Dan smiled and pulled Phil closer, Phil watched his cheeks pull up and his dimples appear, and Phil couldn't help a huge smile take over his own face, almost giggling at the little crinkles that formed on the outside of Dan's eyes, and just how cute it made him look. 

"Morning, sleepyhead." he whispered softly, and was rewarded with Dan's smile going from a smooth line to an open smile, his teeth showing through his beautiful lips. The lips Phil had made his own last night.

"Muhhhnin." Dan mumbled, curling even further into Phil so that his head buried in Phil's collarbone and chest, Dan's words being muffled by him. Phil just smiled and laid there, content with the silence, knowing that once Dan was awake enough he'd talk, but for now they both were just enjoying the feeling of their bare chests against each other and the closeness after last night.

After minutes had passed, Dan finally looked up at Phil, breaking the silence.

"I had a good time last night." Dan mumbled, still sleepily, his eyes full of affection as he met Phil's gaze. Phil grinned lightly, his tongue just barely poking out between his teeth.

"You're so cute when you do that." Dan observed, and Phil blushed a bit, pulling him closer, resting his head atop Dan's.

"You're so cute all the time." Phil responded, and Dan hummed.

"We're getting pretty good at this." he said, just a hint of laughter in his voice, but Phil chuckled fully.

"Yes, yes we are." A small pang of sadness hit him, along with some guilt. He knew this would have to end, and he knew it may be unfair for him to entertain all of this, when his feelings towards Dan weren't exactly platonic. Not telling Dan made Phil feel a bit guilty about the whole thing, but Dan was happy and he was happy, and that helped him forget his guilt for the most part. "We're very good at playing pretend." He said, and there was just the tiniest hint of sadness in his voice, most likely undetectable.

Dan knew him well, though.

Phil saw Dan pull back slightly so he could tilt his head up and look at Phil, confused, still in his sleepy, half conscious state, eyes only slightly open.

"Pretend?" Dan asked, and Phil felt his heart do the little jump it did any time he had a moment of hope, but he quickly shut it down, reminding himself that this was all just for their families. What had Dan called it? A game. A challenge. That was all this was to Dan.

"Yeah, silly. Pretend. For your mum, remember?" Phil watched as Dan had a moment of realization wash over him, raising his eyebrows, letting out a long 'ohhhhh right...' 

"You didn't think you were going to get to wake up with me holding you forever, did you?" Phil teased, and he almost laughed at himself, because he'd do anything to get to wake up holding Dan this way every single day for the rest of his life. The irony was thick.

Dan's expression darkened just the slightest at this, then brightened back up as he pulled Phil even closer towards him, and Phil felt like they might become one if they tried to press any tighter together.

"No... I don't think that, so I'm going to take advantage of every second I get!" Dan grinned into Phil's chest, then tilted his head up and Phil found himself engulfed in a soft kiss. Phil chuckled as they pulled away, brushing some of Dan's hair off his forehead.

"You're sweet in the morning. I like sleepy Dan." Dan just hummed at this, pulling Phil back into a kiss, opening his mouth this time and trying to work his way into Phil's own mouth. Phil pulled back, giggling.

"I have morning breath! At least let me brush my teeth first."

Dan shook his head and pulled Phil back, murmuring "I don't care" into Phil's mouth as he kissed him, and Phil gave in quickly.

Truth be told, he didn't care either. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay maybe it had the tiniest bit of angst, but I wanted to get across as much of Phil's feelings as I could in this chapter :P Still hella fluffy though :D  
> ALSO: Please comment below on your opinions on two things:  
> 1) would you like this fic to be concluded soon, or become a longer fic? And do you want it to continue past them finally getting together and go into their relationship a bit? (spoilers they'll get together lol)  
> 2) Smut or nah?  
> Thank you as always <3


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I wrote it at the end of last chapter, but just wanting to ask again opinions on  
> 1) Should this be a longer fic or end on the sooner side when they get together? (don't be sad about it ending though, it may be its time and I already have an ideas for the next fic)  
> 2) For the next fic, please comment if you have any requests/prompts :D <3

Kissing Phil was like nothing Dan had ever experienced before. It was exciting and new and refreshing, but at the same time it was easy. He was kissing his best friend, and the one person he was most comfortable with, even though that comfortability could be questioned sometimes since he was always overanalyzing. For whatever reason, though, this morning Dan had just decided not to overanalyze. Not to overthink. He woke up happy and Phil seemed happy, and he was content just being here and being happy with Phil. He knew Phil didn't feel the way he did, but for now at least, Dan was happy playing pretend.

Dan marveled at how comfortable he was as he wrapped his arms around Phil's neck, pulling him close so Dan's chin was against his neck, pushed back by Phil's lips. His legs intertwined with Phil's, and he felt Phil's somewhat sticky warm flesh against his own chest, slightly sweaty from sleeping pressed together in the heat of summer. Dan didn't care. Honestly, it kind of turned him on. 

Finally, the two broke apart, laying on their backs, laughing a bit. Phil kept his hand on top of Dan's though, and he was grateful to not lose contact altogether. 

"We should probably get up." Phil suggested, and Dan groaned. 

"Can we not just stay in bed all day?" he pleaded, turning his head to look at Phil, who laughed. 

"As much as I'd love to, no, we can't. I promised Martyn that we'd go with him and Cornelia to... something... today." Dan raised his eyebrows, cocking his head to the side questioningly.

"And what might that be, Phil?" He asked, curious.

"It's a secret!" Phil responded, a grin crossing his face as he rolled so he was leaning over Dan on his side, kissing him gently, then pulling away with one final peck on the tip of Dan's nose. 

"I promise you're gonna love it though. But we have to get up first!" And then Phil was rolling off of Dan and standing up, and Dan curled into the space where Phil's warmth had just been, feeling cold.

"Fineeee." Dan groaned, but truly he was excited to see what Phil had planned for them. 

They got dressed, Phil telling Dan to dress semi-formal, and walked out to the kitchen where they met Martyn and Cornelia. Cornelia was tugging on Martyn's shoulder, asking him if he _really_ wasn't going to tell her where they were going, and Martyn chuckled. 

"Phil won't tell me either." Dan grumbled lovingly, pouting at Phil, and Cornelia laughed. 

"These Lester men. So mysterious." she teased, and Phil chuckled and pulled Dan into a hug from behind, whispering quiet enough that only Dan could hear. 

"Well, we can't just go around giving away _all_ our secrets, now can we?" Dan didn't know why, but this sent shivers down his spine. He didn't know what Phil meant by it, but he knew that Phil's low whisper, blowing warm air by his ear, tickling his hair, had been  _hot._

The four of them made their way out and caught a cab this time. In the cab, Phil and Martyn somehow convinced Dan and Cornelia to put on blindfolds so they would be surprised, followed by earplugs. Dan let Phil take his hand and drag him out of the cab, leading him somewhere. Dan could hear muffled voices around him and could sense that they were in a crowded place, and then he was being sat down in a chair and Phil was holding his hand below their seats so that if any fan was nearby they couldn't see... or at least that's what Dan assumed. 

From the feel of it, Dan was fairly certain they were in the cinema. That's the way their seats felt, but he couldn't explain why they had to be blindfolded for this. About ten minutes passed, and Dan was seriously starting to get annoyed by this blindfold and earplugs. He hated surprises and the surprise combined with his loss of senses had him worried about slipping into a panic attack, but the small circles Phil was tracing on the back of his hand kept him tied to the earth, and he made it through.

Finally, Phil took off the blindfold and took out the earplugs all at once, whispering to Dan to stay quiet. He was in a dark room. It was pitch black, and he had no idea where they were, until the music started. 

He heard the strings, and even though he had intentionally stayed away from listening to it too much to spoil it for himself, he immediately recognized the opening to Hamilton. The lights came up, and sure enough he saw the detailed wooden multi-storied set, and looked over to see Phil beaming. Phil wasn't looking at the stage though, he was looking at Dan, and Dan squeezed Phil's hand tightly in excitement. 

The show passed in a blur of energy and rap and heartbreak and beauty. Dan was in awe as he watched Lafayette barrel through 'Guns and Ships'. He cringed as he watched Hamilton cheat during 'Say No to This'. He nearly cried through 'Burn', and finally lost it at 'Stay Alive' and 'It's Quiet Uptown'. Dan was left a sobbing ball of emotion at the end, never letting go of Phil's hand. He felt Phil's eyes on him throughout the show, and he inwardly smiled. Surely Phil was just excited and proud to have successfully surprised Dan.

At the end, Dan almost leaped out of his seat to give a standing ovation to the actors, finally letting go of Phil's hand so he could applaud. They left the theatre in a daze of excitement and wonder, remembering at the last minute to each get some Hamilton merch. 

Dan picked out a shirt he felt matched his personality, and that he knew his fans would get a kick out of, a black tshirt with white lettering reading, ' **I'm Like Alexander Hamilton: I Also Have a Million Things I Haven't Done'** , while Phil finally agreed to get the tshirt Dan begged him to get. It was a white shirt with blue lettering that said,  **'Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now...'** in swooping calligraphy. Dan smiled at the shirt, feeling a bit selfish. Really he just wanted Phil to get this shirt because the blue script matched his eyes, and Dan knew it'd always remind him of how lucky he was to have Phil in his life, and how lucky he was that, even if it was pretend and it could all be over soon, he got to kiss and hold and hug and love Phillip Michael Lester. 

Yes, Dan was sure of it. The box was long gone, and Dan honestly didn't even really care anymore. He was in love with Phil, and he knew it'd only get more painful, and he knew it wasn't smart, but he was in love with Phil, and he was going to enjoy it while he could. 

They walked out of the theatre, and Dan was having an immensely hard time not reaching out for Phil's hand or hugging him, or even pulling him in for a kiss, but the streets were busy, and he could already see two girls whispering as they walked up. 

Dan and Phil smiled and took pictures with them, enthusing about the show and confirming that they'd talk about it, at least in a live stream soon. Martyn and Cornelia waved goodbye over the girls' heads, and Dan nodded, understanding that he and Phil were being left, and they had the rest of the evening to themselves. 

Once they had said their goodbyes to the girls, Amber and Kira were their names, they hailed their own taxi, and Dan turned to Phil in surprise when Phil immediately told the driver an address that Dan knew wasn't Phil's home.

"Where are we going?" He asked suspiciously, and Phil grinned.

"Well, I got us matinee tickets for a reason. I just figured it's been a while since we've been out the two of us... might as well make a day of it." Dan nodded, and the way Phil's eyes glinted made him forget that he hated surprises.

They pulled up in front of a sweet looking restaurant, and Phil led the way in, paying the taxi driver even after Dan protested. 

"But you bought the tickets to the show!" he argued, and Phil just laughed. 

"Just accept the gesture, idiot." Phil beamed, and Dan had a hard time arguing with that smile. 

They made their way inside, and after Phil gave the hostess his last name, she took them to a booth way in the back corner, blocked off from the other tables. The booths were very private feeling, with three walls all raising all the way to connect to the ceiling so their only connection to the restaurant was through one small opening, and this booth just so happened to be located so that no one would casually walk by it or see them from another table. It was completely private, and Dan raised his eyebrows. Not only that, but this place was fancy. Not over the top movie star fancy, but it was a very nice restaurant with candles on the table and embroidered pillows lining the booth, and he and Phil didn't usually do things like this together. 

"Ladies first." Phil said, holding his arm out to indicate Dan should sit in the booth, and Dan rolled his eyes, slipping onto the comfortable cushion. Phil followed suit, and the hostess gave them their menus, telling them a waiter would be there shortly. 

Dan looked across to Phil over his menu, and saw that Phil had a slight blush to his cheeks. Dan shrugged it off as leftover excitement from the musical masterpiece they had just seen, and shifted his focus to the menu. 

The meal was incredible. Dan got a steak that had a blackberry puree on the side of the plate that paired incredibly well, and he moaned through his food-gasm, laughing at Phil's blush as he begged Dan to stop, only causing Dan's moans to increase in volume. Phil apparently loved the leg of lamb he got over a bed of wilted spinach and risotto, and they both had hugely full bellies, but still decided they had room for dessert, ordering one slice of chocolate cake with strawberry filling to share. 

Dan kicked Phil's leg under the table as they waited for their dessert, getting Phil's attention. 

"Hey. Thank you. For the show today." 

"You're welcome. Thanks for coming with me to visit my hometown." Phil smiled, and of _course_ Phil had to thank Dan back, he couldn't just take the lousy compliment, and Dan was mildly annoyed by this, but it was also what made Phil Phil, so it was a loving annoyance. 

When the cake came, Dan picked up the fork, breaking off a bite, and raising it in the air. 

"Open wide!" Phil's eyes widened, but then he opened his mouth and Dan fed him the bite of cake, smiling as he got to watch Phil savor the cake. Dan saw a small flicker cross Phil's face, but he couldn't quite place the expression. Almost like... pleasant surprise? 

Dan understood when Phil lifted a bite into Dan's mouth, and he took the cake in his mouth, savoring the taste of chocolate and strawberry, and  _OH._

Chocolate and strawberry. 

A blush crossed his face as he flicked his gaze up to meet Phil's eyes, then dart back away to the table. He certainly understood the reaction Phil had had to the cake now, the combination of flavors taking him back to the day before in that dark room. To he and Phil's first _proper_ kiss. 

Dan looked down, trying to hide his blush and smile, when he felt Phil's ankle hook around his own under the table. He looked up at Phil and saw that his friend's face was open and reassuring, comforting Dan by saying that he didn't need to worry. That it was okay to smile at that memory. Dan allowed his smile to break open on his face, and they both giggled a bit, not entirely sure what they were giggling at, just high off of first the musical, then this delicious food in this candlelit restaurant. 

Something took over Dan, and he scooted around the booth until he was on the same side as Phil, leaning his head on his friend's shoulder after placing a quick peck on Phil's cheek.

"What was that for?" Phil asked, and Dan shrugged. 

"Just wanted to be closer is all." He almost laughed aloud as he remembered how this had all started. How this was supposed to be a game. A competition. 

If this was a competition he had certainly lost. 

The memory of the competition, though, raised the inner tease in Dan, and he picked up a fork playfully, cutting a bite and taking it in his teeth, careful to leave a bit poking out. 

"Whaan summ more?" He mumbled through the cake, and he watched as Phil shook his head, laughing with a short exhale through his nose, then leaning in to nibble on the end of the cake. Phil bit off the end and closed his mouth, but stayed with his lips pressed against Dan's. They both chewed their bites, kissing at the same time, then opened their mouths to allow the other in, and Dan relished in the taste once again of chocolate, strawberries, and  _Phil_. 

They ordered two rounds of champagne before leaving, and by the time their taxi pulled in front of the house, Dan and Phil were both tipsy, giggling and shoving each other as they paid the driver, Dan  _finally_ convincing Phil to let him pay, after he'd covered the show, the taxi to the restaurant,  _and_ both their meals, and they stumbled inside. 

They stopped once inside the house for a moment, as if trying to figure out what came next. 

"More to drink?" Dan asked, and Phil nodded, walking up to a cabinet and pulling out a near-full bottle of wine. They brought it to Phil's bedroom, and sat crosslegged facing each other on the bed, passing the bottle back and forth as they drank. Soon the bottle was nearly finished. 

"Okay, Dan. Truth or Dare?" Phil asked, and Dan rolled his eyes. 

"You've  _got_ to be kidding me." 

"Truth. Or. Dare?" Phil repeated, and Dan sighed, taking another swig from the bottle.

"Fine. Truth." 

Phil stopped to think for a moment, taking the bottle back and taking a sip in thought. 

"When's the happiest moment of your life?" he asked. Dan didn't really have the mental capacity to really go back through his whole life, so he just chose the first moment that came to mind when asked that question.

"This morning. Lying here with you." Phil raised his eyebrows, nodding, as Dan moved the game along. "Okay, Phil, truth or dare?"

"Dare." Dan thought for a bit, wondering just where this game was going, then deciding to play it _fairly_ safe... for now.

"I dare you to give me another hickey." Phil's eyebrows went even higher now, and he giggled, stopping himself from sloshing the wine all over the bed. 

"You  _want_ me to give you a hickey?" Phil asked, and Dan nodded, wondering why this was such a surprise.

"It felt good. And it means I'm yours." There was a small pause as they both reeled from the alcohol for a moment, taking in Dan's last comment, before Phil slammed the wine down on the end table and lunged forward, tackling Dan to his back, sucking right below his collarbone, on the other side of his chest from the first one which was still a dark purple. Dan leaned into Phil's lips, arching his back and moaning unashamedly. 

Once Phil was satisfied with his work, he sat back up, eliciting a whimper from Dan who really didn't want Phil to leave. 

"Truth or Dare, Dan?" 

"Truth." 

"Ughhhh boring!" Phil sat back in thought again, and Dan wondered what he must be thinking.

"What is your biggest fear?" Phil asked finally, and Dan didn't have to think for this one.

"Losing you." He responded immediately. There was another silence, this one longer, until it got almost painful.

"You'll never lose me." Phil said quietly, and Dan nodded, disbelieving, but appreciative of the sentiment. 

"I hope not." He responded softly, then shook it off. "Okay, Phil, truth or dare?"

"If you're gonna be boring, I will be too. Truth." Dan was done playing it safe. He wanted to move this game along. 

"What do you want to do to me, Phil?" Phil looked up in surprise, but Dan held his gaze, unwavering.

"What?"

"What. Do you want to do. To me. Right. Now." Dan articulated, leaning forward so he was on his hands and knees, only inches from Phil's face. He was daring Phil with his eyes, and he watched as Phil's gaze flickered between holding his gaze, and staring at his lips, which Dan licked invitingly. 

Phil took the invitation. He pushed Dan backwards with his kiss until Dan was on his back and Phil was on top of him, kissing him with enough force that Dan actually felt himself being pressed into the mattress. They kissed for a long time, messily exploring each other's mouths which now tasted of wine, and Phil was grinding his hips down onto Dan's, and Dan was responding. Finally he held up a hand to Phil's shoulder, holding him back from going in for another kiss, to which Phil pouted. 

"You didn't answer my question, Phil. What do you want to do to me?" Phil considered this, and then moved backwards on Dan until he was sat over Dan's knees, pulling him into a sitting position by his arms, and then Phil was undoing the buttons on Dan's shirt and he was undoing the buttons on Phil's until they were both shirtless, and Dan was being pressed back down against the bed. 

Somehow in Dan's drunken state, he remembered what he'd learned from the dice game yesterday, and he brushed his fingers over Phil's nipples, relishing in the moan he earned from this. He continued for a bit, and then he broke their kiss, scooting down on the bed a bit to align himself so he could take a nipple in his mouth, playing at it with his tongue and grazing it with his teeth, and the sounds Phil was making made Dan so hard he wanted to scream, but he just continued to tease Phil until he was pulled back up on the bed and Phil was attacking his lips again, then moving to his neck, staining it with more and more hickeys, and Dan felt electric. 

"Phil." He gasped as Phil sucked a particularly deep and painful hickey into his chest. "Answer. The. Question." 

Phil looked up at Dan, and spoke for the first time in minutes. His voice came out as a low growl, and Dan felt like he was going to melt. 

"I think you know what I want to do to you, Dan." Dan threw his head back as Phil went back into his neck, and he gasped. 

"Phil... we're both drunk. Are we... should we..." 

"You asked me what I wanted, Dan. It's up to you." Dan felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest, and then he was fumbling with his hands, finally undoing Phil's pants, then moving to his own. Phil leaned back and balanced on his knees, pulling his pants and his boxers down to his knees all in one quick motion, then rolling off of Dan briefly to take them off the rest of the way. Dan put a hand over his mouth as he saw how hard Phil was, a deep shade of red, almost verging on purple. He'd seen Phil before, but never,  _never_ like this. 

When Phil had completely undressed he made his way to the foot of the bed, assisting Dan with his own pants, and slipping his clothes off of the younger boy, never breaking eye contact, and Dan was pretty sure right then that Phil could make him come just by looking at him for long enough. 

When Phil had Dan's pants off and didn't return to him immediately, Dan frowned, wondering what went wrong. It was only when Phil was fumbling around the room, looking for something, then turning back to ask Dan where the bag had gone, that Dan's eyes widened as he quickly whispered, "Suitcase."

In no time at all, Phil had the fancy bottle of lube in his hands and was stepping back onto the bed, on all fours above Dan. Dan wanted nothing more than for Phil to just lower himself a few inches, and then they'd be touching,  _all of_ _them_  would be touching,and Dan had wanted this for so long and now it was finally happening, and Phil was being such a tease, and this was torture. 

Phil slowly slicked up three fingers and looked at Dan, a question in his eyes. Dan nodded quickly, wanting to get this started as soon as possible. He needed to feel Phil's touch. Phil slowly leaned down and placed a small kiss on Dan's lips, then moved back to position himself between Dan's thighs, raising his legs so Dan's calves were balanced on Phil's shoulders. Something about this sight of Phil between him and underneath his legs made Dan quiver. He'd never done this with a guy before, and to the best of his knowledge neither had Phil, but he didn't care. He wanted Phil, and he wasn't scared. 

Phil began with one finger, pressing it inside and then waiting for Dan to adjust and loosen around the finger before slipping the second and then a third in. It was now that Dan was grateful that the wine bottle hadn't been completely full, because he was definitely drunk, but not to the point where he was going to black out. He wanted to remember every moment of this, and he was glad that Phil wasn't swimming in his vision. Once Dan was adjusted to all three fingers, Phil made eye contact with him as he slowly pulled them out and began to slick up his cock, and Dan drew in a breath.

Phil leaned forward once more, kissing Dan, then pulling away. Before he was too far away, though, he whispered in Dan's ear, "To answer your question, Dan. I want to be inside you. I want  _you._ " Dan shuddered as Phil pulled back and then slowly sank himself into Dan, and it hurt for a bit but then it just felt strange and new, and Dan was confused as to why this was so highly talked about, until Phil leaned down to kiss Dan, slowly thrusting forward, and he hit something inside of Dan, and  _OH._

Dan let out a yelp of surprise before Phil clapped his hand over Dan's mouth. 

"As hot as that is, Dan, my parents are just down the hall." Dan nodded, looking into Phil's eyes, in wonder that this man, this man who he loved but thought he would never have, this man was  _inside of him_ , fucking in and out of him, and Dan was breathless. 

Phil took Dan's wrists in his hand and pinned them behind Dan's head, and Dan watched the fire in Phil's eyes as he pulled back and then thrust deep into Dan, solidly connecting with that magical little bundle of nerves that sent Dan into a state of euphoria, again, and again, and again. 

Dan loved the smirk on Phil's face, and he studied the way Phil's smile pulled up only on one side as he fucked into Dan, and Dan could have sworn there was nothing more attractive in the world.

That was, until Phil's face scrunched up and his head fell back, and he was whispering, "Oh god, Dan, I'm about to... I'm gonna..." and then Phil was reaching down and stroking Dan as he fucked into him, and this was entirely overstimulating and Dan couldn't even believe how alive he felt, though he also sort of felt like he was going to die from all of this, because this _couldn't_ be safe to feel this much all at once, and then he felt Phil pulsing inside of him, warm liquid filling his already full hole, and the groan that accompanied this feeling, coming from deep in Phil's throat, sent Dan over the edge as well as he throbbed a puddle onto his stomach, and their chests heaved in unison as they breathed heavily as they came down from their orgasms.

"Wow." Phil giggled, and Dan began to laugh as well. 

"Yeah... wow." 

They cleaned up in a drunken haze and made their way back to the bed, collapsing in a fit of giggles and exhaustion, allowing sleep to take them as they wrapped their naked bodies together once more. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Realized I haven't seen any fics with Dan and Phil and Hamilton and I know everyone wants them to see it, so.... here ya go! :D
> 
> Also thank you all for over 600 reads! When did I start this, just like yesterday? The day before? You're all so amazing and every comment, hit, and kudos inspires me to keep going, thank you all so much <3


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be some POV switches in this, they'll be indicated through larger breaks between the paragraphs

Dan woke up slowly, pressing into the warmth behind him, humming at its soft comfort. He pulled the arms that were around his torso tighter and sighed happily, enjoying this moment. Everything was warm, and cozy, and _Phil_. 

Phil.

Dan shot straight up in bed, leaping across from Phil and throwing the duvet over his lower half to hide his nakedness, eyes wide in horror. 

_What had they done?_

Phil was blinking awake now, confused, and Dan felt guilt sweep over him, appalled that he had allowed himself to take advantage of Phil in this way. Sure, a few kisses with hidden feelings were a grey area but seemed _okay_ , but then they started making out, and then they drank, and  _oh god._

Dan froze as Phil's gaze met his, and in that second, time seemed to slow to a crawl. All the sounds in the room washed away, and Dan and Phil stared at each other, mouths hanging slightly agape, not knowing where to go from here. 

Eventually Dan broke the gaze, burying his face in his hands, and he heard Phil shift so he was sitting across from Dan. 

"Dan..." Phil started, and Dan felt the tears rushing down his cheeks. "Dan... look at me. Please." Dan shook his head violently, and pointed across the room. Phil must have obeyed his nonverbal request, as Dan saw through the cracks of his fingers as Phil turned around so his back was facing Dan. He took this opportunity to leap out of bed, tugging on pyjama pants and a tshirt, grabbing his wallet, phone, and keys, and running out of the house to the bus stop. 

He panted as he reached the stop, checking the times, and sighed in relief as he saw that a bus was coming in just five minutes. He waited impatiently, tapping his foot, glancing back the way he had come, praying to every entity he had ever heard of and then some that Phil wouldn't come running down that street. 

He didn't.

Dan wasn't sure if that made him happy or not. 

Dan was crying again as the bus showed up, and he didn't even bother to meet the bus driver's eyes as he paid and boarded the bus, waiting until he reached the station and then getting off, trying to figure out where to go from here.

Dan found a bus that led to the train station and got on, and when he got to the train station, he bought a ticket for the earliest train to London. 

What had he done? He had just gone and ruined  _everything._ Dan should have known this whole thing was a bad idea from the start. He should have known it would result in something awful. He should have known it would break apart every bit of friendship he and Phil had built up over the years, and make that one worst fear Phil had asked him about last night come true.

He should have known this would be how he would lose Phil.

He cried as the train made its way to London. To the flat. Not  _his_ flat, no, as Dan intended to pack up and be out of there as soon as he could upon arrival.

That didn't happen, though. 

When Dan got back to the flat, he saw Phil's lion sitting on a bookshelf, and the tears which had finally gone away came flooding back, and he hugged lion and collapsed into his bed, soaking lion with his tears. He fell asleep curled up, holding the stuffed animal, inhaling the distant scent of raspberries that reminded him of Phil, ignoring the constant beeping alerting him to new texts on his phone. 

 

 

When Dan finally awoke, it was to the last thing he wanted. It was to a soft knock on his already open bedroom door, and when he turned to look, he saw an extremely timid looking Phil awkwardly standing in the doorway. 

"Go away." Dan said pitifully, but Phil didn't listen.

"Go away!" Dan repeated, and he watched as Phil slowly shook his head. 

"WHY WON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE? CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I FEEL AWFUL? JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" Dan cried out, throwing lion angrily, actually managing to hit Phil in the shoulder, and Phil let out a choked sob, rushing from the doorway. Dan collapsed back into his bed, entirely unhappy that he had got what he had asked for. 

 

 

Phil raced from the room. Why had he even come back? He could have at least given Dan some space after he had practically forced himself on the younger boy the night before in a drunken blur. Phil couldn't believe himself. Who had he become? And now Dan clearly wanted nothing to do with him. He himself had said that he felt awful and wanted to be left alone, clearly he felt as if Phil had violated him, and Phil couldn't believe that it was true. He  _had._

Sure, Dan had played along, but Dan had been drunk and he had no idea what Phil actually felt towards him. It had been completely unfair to do to Dan. Phil curled into a ball on the floor of his room, rocking back and forth, not knowing who he was anymore. 

 

 

A day passed. A day of silence broke only by sobs heard through the wall which would make the other boy want to go help, but then remind themselves that it would only make the situation worse. A day of dashes to the bathroom and kitchen, only when absolutely necessary, making sure not to run into the other. A day of tears. A day of silence. 

 

 

The next day, Dan didn't wake up until 1pm. He'd been up crying until 5am, and he didn't feel rested in the slightest. He was angry. He was angry with himself for using Phil. He was angry with himself for lying to Phil. He was angry with the stupid challenge room people for giving them fucking  _lube._ He was angry with Martyn for setting this whole thing up. He was angry with Phil for starting this whole thing, pretending like they were together for Dan's mum. He was angry with people for believing it. He was angry with Phil for not loving him, but most of all he was angry with himself for loving Phil. 

He was angry because a tiny part of him didn't regret the last night spent at Phil's childhood home. A tiny part of him relished in the memory. A sick, twisted part of him loved that it had happened, and that wrenched at Dan's gut. 

But despite all this anger, the majority of Dan was just sad. He was sad that Phil was sad. He was sad that he had made a mistake. He was sad that maybe... just  _maybe..._ Phil had liked him too and now he had gone and screwed that all up. He was sad he hadn't told Phil his feelings sooner. He was sad that now he was going to have to move out.

He was sad that he had lost Phil. 

He heard Phil's sobs through the wall, and it was taking every ounce of his willpower not to run in there right now and hug him, comfort him, protect him. But he couldn't protect him. The one to cause the hurt couldn't take it away. At least that's what he told himself.

He didn't go to Phil. He sat in his room and mindlessly scrolled through tumblr, ignoring Phil's dozens of texts, but his feed kept bringing him back to pictures of he and Phil... pictures of edits people had made to make them seem in love, to seem like a couple... he couldn't take that. He threw his phone at the wall and screamed, and he heard the sobbing from the next room silence for a few seconds, then return even louder.

Dan buried his face in his pillow and slept. 

He awoke just in time to see Phil wheeling a suitcase past his door, not looking in. Dan froze. He was the one who was supposed to be doing that. He almost decided to just let Phil go, but then he decided he couldn't do that to Phil... not on top of everything else. 

He got up and walked to the door, and when he spoke it was only a whisper. 

"Phil?" Phil whipped his head around, but stayed facing away from Dan, shoulders hunched, suitcase in hand. 

"Stop... please." Dan begged, and Phil sighed. 

"You don't need me in your life, Dan. I should go." Dan had never heard Phil so... sad. That was all it was, he was just  _sad._ Phil. Phil who was such a light bubbling person. Phil who brought joy to everyone he met, making sure to make people smile even if his day had been hard. Phil was just... sad. 

"I do, though." Dan choked out, not even sure if Phil could hear him, so he repeated, trying to make his voice come out clearer. "I do need you, Phil." He saw Phil's eyebrows come together in doubt and suspicion, but he let go of the suitcase and turned to face Dan. "It's you who doesn't need me. And you're not the one who should be packing to go, I am." Phil shook his head slightly in confused disagreement here, so Dan decided he had to elaborate.

"Phil I am so sorry. _I'm the one_ who asked if we should have more to drink.  _I'm the one_ who asked you that  _stupid_ truth or dare question. I'm the one who fucking  _undressed you_ , Phil, and while you were drunk! I am so sorry. I'm an asshole and I never meant to ruin anything, I just wasn't thinking, and I just... I don't even know anymore." Dan was looking at his feet, and didn't even notice when Phil walked towards him, a confused look on his face, stopping a few feet away. 

"Dan... it's not your fault.  _I'm_ the one who should be apologizing. Fuck, I was the one who said that I wanted... you know... I wanted to..." Phil was blushing and stammering as he looked to the floor and trailed off. "Dan, you don't have anything to be sorry for. I made a mistake and I am  _so_ sorry. I know it never should have gone that far." 

Dan just nodded, slightly confused. 

"Wait... so you're not mad at me?" He asked in disbelief. 

"No! God no, Dan, I could never be mad at you!" Phil almost laughed in disbelief even at the possibility of being angry with Dan, and Dan felt his shoulders relax. 

"I'm not mad at you either. I mean... it was stupid, and a mistake, and you're right it shouldn't have gone that far, but..." Dan trailed off this time and watched as Phil's eyes widened and became wet with tears. 

"Does this mean we can keep living together?" Phil asked, and the desperate hope in his voice and the way he looked like he had just gone back and become a child made Dan's heart melt, and he closed the space between them, pulling Phil into a deep, reassuring hug. 

"Of course it does, Phil. Oh god, I'm so sorry I let you go this long thinking I was angry with you. Phil... let's just forget about the other night, okay? Just forget it ever happened. It was a stupid mistake and we let things go too far. That's _all_ it was." Phil nodded, tears running down his cheeks now, a relieved smile crossing his face as he breathed out a laugh, spit and snot mixing together in a stringy mess on his face, but Dan couldn't judge because he wasn't any better. 

"Okay. Thank you, Dan." Phil whispered. They stood this way, hugging and crying in relief for what felt like hours. 

"So... movie? Dan finally asked with a weak laugh, pulling away. 

"Yeah, that sounds great." Phil smiled, and they made their way to the lounge. 

They didn't discuss _that_  night for the rest of the night. They didn't talk about them, either. If they were still pretending or not. Dan did smile, however, when Phil got sleepy and rested his head on Dan's shoulder. Dan relaxed and wrapped his arm around Phil's back and shoulder, pulling him tight. He even ventured to plant a kiss on the top of Phil's hair, and he heard Phil humm in appreciation. 

Maybe everything would be okay.

When Dan led Phil back to his room to tuck Phil into his own bed, he felt a little weird leaving him to return to Dan's own room. It'd be cold... he'd miss Phil. As he turned to go, he heard a small whisper.

"Hey Dan... it was all just practice, right?" He didn't even turn back as he laughed, flicking off the switch. 

"Practice..." he mused. 

"Night, Phil." and he closed the door, making his way to his own room. 

 

The next morning, Dan knew the talk was coming. He knew they were going to have to discuss exactly what they were going to do about this whole facade they'd carefully constructed out of their relationship, and where they stood now. 

He walked into the kitchen in his pajamas to see Phil pouring the rest of his cereal into a bowl. Phil shot him a guilty and apologetic glance, but Dan just smiled. Yesterday he had thought he'd never get to see Phil stealing his cereal again. He could let it slide today. 

Dan made himself some oatmeal, and they sat down in the lounge, eating.

"Phil..." Dan decided to start. "About... us." Phil perked up and listened intently, and Dan took a deep breath before continuing. 

"About this whole... pretending thing we've been doing. I don't know... where do we stand?" He looked at Phil as the older boy chewed on his words, thinking. 

"I don't know, Dan. Honestly, I don't. I was happy where we were before... the other night. I was really happy, actually. But it did get away from us, and I don't want to do  _anything_ that could ever make me believe you wouldn't be in my life again. That was the scariest day and a half of my life. So I don't know."

"Well... we probably won't be seeing our parents for a while. I guess we could always just... go back to normal but keep telling them we're together, and give ourselves a break to figure it out?" Phil nodded, seeming to like this suggestion.

"Okay. Yeah, I think that's good. I was planning on seeing my parents the day after Halloween, though... should that be our first mile marker?" Dan nodded, deeming this as a good amount of time. It was still early August, that'd give them nearly three months to figure out what they were going to do. Nearly three months to go back to just friends... Dan felt relieved by this, but he also felt a pang of sadness. He pushed it aside, reminding himself that at least he and Phil _were_ still friends, and that was more than he had dared to hope for yesterday.

"Okay. Friends?" Dan held out his hand, knowing it was cheesy, but he had already done it, so he committed. 

"Friends." Phil shook Dan's hand, and they both had bittersweet smiles, and Dan couldn't quite figure out why Phil's was bittersweet, but he decided not to question it. 

They were friends. 

Everything would be okay. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on the next fic being a soulmate au? teenage au? vegas fic? fic where they're competing on the bachelorette but fall in love with each other like those two girls did on the bachelor a few years ago?


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys I am SO sorry. I know they've been absolute idiots in this, I've just wanted to make this the most painful fic possible xD

They lasted all of nine hours.

Nine hours of writing down video ideas and replying to comments and milling about the house. Nine hours ending with them ordering pizza and settling in for a movie. Nine hours before they sat down on the couch and Dan, unthinking, leaned over to give Phil a peck on the lips, and Phil kissed back. 

They broke apart after a moment, both realizing that this wasn't part of their relationship now. In unison, they put their hands to their lips and leaned apart, not looking at each other. 

"Oh... um... sorry." Dan muttered, moving away from Phil.

"No... I mean. It's okay. Habit."

"Yeah." The rest of the movie was spent in awkward silence, Dan feeling cold by the lack of Phil's presence right next to him.

After that first kiss, they made it another fifteen hours.

Fifteen hours of mostly sleep, along with showers and some internet browsing. 

Fifteen hours before Dan was writhing in his bed, whimpering, as his sleeping subconscious filled his mind with images of running through a cold dark forest with something following him, and he had to find Phil. Phil was trapped in the woods. He had to find Phil. He was going to die, but  _he had to find Phil._

He woke up to Phil shaking his shoulder gently, a concerned look on his face. 

"Dan! Dan are you okay?" Dan groaned and pressed into his pillow. 

"Yeah... sorry stupid nightmare. Was I being loud?" 

"Just a bit." Phil's eyes were full of affection and concern, and Dan rolled on his back to look up at Phil, still not fully awake.

"Were you worried about me?" a huge smile spread across Dan's face, teasing the older boy who looked down, embarrassed.

"No... I mean I just figured you probably would rather be woken up..." he mumbled unconvincingly. 

"You were worried about me!" Dan exclaimed, his grin widening even though he was still about 3/4 asleep. He was propped up on one elbow now from his revelation, and he fell back against the bed on his back, looking at the ceiling and laughing lightly. When he shifted his eyes to look at Phil and saw the blush on his cheeks, he needed to comfort his friend. 

"It's okay, it's cute." Phil's eyes snapped up to meet Dan's wary, and Dan didn't like that. Phil shouldn't be wary of Dan. They were Dan and Phil! Why was Phil being so silly? 

He reached forward to grab Phil's shirt, balling it in his hand, and pulling Phil down into a deep kiss. 

Phil made a sound of surprise into Dan's mouth, but the vibration from the sound only made Dan deepen the kiss, slipping his tongue in, and that's when Phil pulled away, flustered.

"Dan... Dan I thought we weren't..." Dan looked at Phil, sleepy and confused, then his eyes widened in realization.

"Oh god, Phil. I'm sorry. I'm rubbish at this whole thing."

"It's fine, Dan. It's just... Habit."

Habit. Dan was beginning to hate that word.

Phil was the next to slip up when he was trying to get Dan's attention away from his computer to tell him about some new species that had been discovered in the rainforest. Dan wouldn't listen, so Phil placed his hands on either side of Dan's waist, forcing his attention. This in and of itself wouldn't have technically broken any rules, and _might_ have been something they would have done a year ago before this whole... thing... but when their eyes met, Phil leaned in for a kiss, and even though Dan knew it wasn't part of their new agreement he allowed himself to relish in it for a moment, not wanting to have to end this. 

He did end it, however, and when Phil profusely apologized, he decided to use Phil's term against him.

"It's fine, Phil. Habit." He almost spat out, and Phil looked at him, slightly hurt, and Dan realized this wasn't working.

"Phil..." Dan began, not knowing where to start. He moved the laptop off his lap, and turned to face Phil who was now next to him on the couch.

"Phil this isn't working. We've forgotten how to be friends."

"I know... I'm sorry. Do you want me to go?" Dan didn't know what to say to that. Yes, his anxiety was screaming that he needed to just be alone right now, but Dan's brain knew that he was on the verge of messing things up with Phil and this was a delicate situation. He needed to push aside that anxiety and deal with the consequences.

Dan drew in a deep breath and looked at Phil, a slight twinge of sadness in his eyes, because he knew that this could very well be the thing to break them apart.

"Phil... no. I don't want you to leave. I never want you to leave. I..."

_Just do it, Dan. Just spit out the fucking words and once you've started there's no return, so all you've gotta do is start._

"I..." The words were lodged in Dan's throat, unable to make their way out. He cleared his throat and took another shaky breath, promising himself that he would do this.

"I love you, Phil."

"I love you too, Dan." Dan's heart leaped into his chest, only to come crashing to the ground one second later. "You're my best friend." Why had Dan thought this was going to be easy, again? "I never want to lose you, I just... this has all become so complicated. We let this..." and Phil gestured to the two of them, "become habit, and now honestly... it's hard for me to make myself stop..." now Phil was the one to draw in a deep breath. "Because I don't want to stop. It feels nice to have someone so close, and... I don't know, Dan. Until the other night I was actually really enjoying all this."

"Me too." Dan spoke softly, his heart both broken but full all at once.

"So... do you think we can just go back?" Phil asked, and Dan looked up at him. He knew that if he said yes he'd only be digging himself a deeper grave, allowing himself to fall for Phil further, but his willpower wasn't superhuman.

"Please." He whimpered, and Phil smiled, cupping Dan's jaw in his hand.

"Good." he breathed, as he leaned in to connect their lips.

What were they doing? How had they let this go so far? How had Dan ended up making out with his best friend who he was secretly head over heels for, but all Phil thought it was was a form of release. A nice addition onto their friendship since their lifestyle didn't really allow for dating. How had Dan allowed this to happen?

There was no turning back now, though, as his tongue worked in and out of Phil's mouth, and as he scooted lower on the couch, laying across the length of it so Phil could climb on top of him, kissing him deeply.

The soft moan that escaped Phil's throat made Dan think for a second, just for a _split_ second, that maybe Phil could like him too. He shook the thought immediately, though. If Phil liked him he would have done something by now, and that kind of thinking would only make this all the harder for Dan. Maybe it was time to start reconstructing that box, though he wouldn't know where to start, since the wooden pieces were long lost to the world.  

Dan allowed himself to get lost in the kiss. In the warmth, in the softness of Phil's face as he brought his hands up to cup Phil's cheeks. In the fire he felt inside of his heart that ached for Phil. 

Phil moved down to Dan's neck and began sucking, and Dan was momentarily overwhelmed, overcome by sensation and emotion and electricity, and he didn't even realize when he allowed the moan to escape.

"Ugh, Phil, god I love you."

Phil froze, his lips still on Dan's neck, teeth against skin, and Dan arched his neck further to encourage Phil to keep going, unsure of why he stopped, before he realized what he had said. They'd each just said this moments earlier, but now that they were kissing, it felt different.

Dan craned his neck to look down at Phil, apologetic, opening his mouth to explain before he was cut off.

"I love you too, Dan." And when Dan heard this, Phil's lips still mumbling against his neck, it shot fire through him and he felt more alive than he ever had.

They continued to kiss, but this time they had added new words to their dictionary. 

Phil pulled back so he could look at Dan, appraising his options. 

"I love you, Dan." he murmured as he moved in to place a kiss on Dan's cheek.

"I love you, Dan." his next kiss was to the base of Dan's jaw right under his earlobe.

"I love you, Dan." the following kiss was placed on Dan's forehead, and finally.

"I love you, Dan." This kiss was to Dan's lips, and he wanted to freeze time right now, and live in this moment forever. This world where Phil told him he loves him and then leans in to kiss him, and Dan's in bliss.

This wasn't a sexual bliss either. His body wasn't responding yet, and neither was Phil's. This fire inside him was purely stemming from his heart, and it ached.

Dan's eyes widened as Phil pulled away, and he whispered a soft, "I love you too, Phil." He saw a flicker of sadness, of pain, cross Phil's face and he wondered why that was there, but within seconds he was sitting up and kissing that look off of Phil's face, and everything was okay again. 

It didn't happen until that night. 

The day passed in a blur of 'I love you's and kisses, and Dan felt like he was on Cloud 9, when he and Phil settled in, clicking on the first movie Netflix showed as a new release. 

Dan didn't pay too much attention to the story, kissing Phil's neck as Phil watched, but his friend seemed fairly intent on the move, so Dan sighed and leaned his head on Phil's shoulder as he tried to understand what was happening.

There was a girl who loved horses. Oh god, it was one of  _those_ movies. She was in high school, and her best friend would always come and visit her and they'd ride horses together. When the girl got sick, he went out and took care of the horses, and he'd whisper to them, asking them how to tell the girl he was in love with her. Meanwhile, in the hospital, the girl was panicking to the nurse that she needed to call her friend so he could be with her in case she didn't get better. 

Dan sighed at how stupid and cliche this whole plot was, turning back to nuzzle into Phil's neck.

"Why don't they just tell each other they're in love? It's so obvious, and they'd actually get to be happy." Phil grumbled, surprisingly annoyed at this movie. 

"Yeah, it's just a cliche romance. Everything's dragged out, it's so unrealistic. If two people  _actually_ were in love with each other, they'd both realize it soon enough." Dan was the one grumbling now, because this was the exact reason he knew Phil couldn't love him, and he thought about it every day. Dan was so obvious with Phil, if Phil had ever even  _thought_ about them being something real, something would have happened. But nothing had.

Phil looked over at Dan, and Dan knew his face was sour, but he didn't bother to change it, brushing it off as distaste for the movie. 

Phil's eyes were slightly widened, though, as he examined Dan's face, then very,  _very_ lowly whispered, "would they?" 

Dan just stared at Phil. What could he mean by 'would they'? 

"I mean... yeah... I think so." He mumbled, and Phil was studying his expression so closely that Dan moved his eyes to the ground in embarrassment, not entirely sure why the blush was rising to his cheeks. 

Phil didn't take his eyes off Dan as he fumbled for the remote and turned off the TV.

"Dan..." Phil began, and Dan looked up in surprise when he heard that Phil's voice sounded slightly choked.

"Yes?" Dan asked, confused and worried. 

"Dan... would they know that they're both in love with each other?" Dan's heart leapt into his throat as he realized the possibility of what Phil could mean. But no, that was impossible! That couldn't be what he meant, there was no way...

Phil broke off Dan's thoughts with a gentle kiss and Dan leaned into it, and this one was soft. It didn't lead to more kisses, but it didn't have to. It was sweet, and loving, and perfect.

When Phil pulled away, he took Dan's hands in his own.

"Dan..." Phil's breath was shaky and his eyes were glossy with wetness, glinting and sparkling as he held Dan's gaze.

"I love you. I'm  _in_ love with you." 

Dan's world stopped. 

The planets stopped spinning, time stopped moving, and he was just staring at Phil in openmouthed shock.

Phil was  _in love_ with him? How had that happened? Was this some sort of cruel joke? But no... no it couldn't have been. Phil would never try to hurt Dan like that. It took Dan several seconds to process what Phil had said and that it was true, and now he was nearly laughing and crying all at once because they had been so  _stupid_ and wasted so much time.

"Dan, please say something?" Phil whispered, pleading, and Dan shook himself out of his daze, seeing that Phil seemed on the verge of tears. He had just confessed his love to Dan, and Dan had just frozen. 

Dan shoved down all his fears, and squeezed the hands of the boy in front of him. 

"Phil... I've been trying to convince myself that I haven't been in love with you for nine years."

Phil's eyes widened, and they came together in a kiss. This kiss wasn't sweet, though. It wasn't firey, it wasn't passionate. It was two boys giggling, lips drawn tight in smiles, choked laughs escaping them as their heads pressed together, their hands finding each other's faces as they looked into the others eyes, in wonder that those eyes were theirs now. 

And Dan's mum got her wish. She lived to see her son's wedding. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [From a Fangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11117448) by [lgbtqhowell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lgbtqhowell/pseuds/lgbtqhowell)




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